The Drop

man, yet I didn’t pause long before squeezing the trigger and sending a round into my boss’ head. How long had it taken? All of ten seconds. I had known Bobby Mahoney since I was a kid, been tied to him for good or bad, in one form or another, for more than two decades, protected him, looked out for him, taken his money and safeguarded his interests - and his daughter loves me, of that I’m sure. Yet how long did it take me to decide to end his life when the choice was put to me? Less even than a minute to betray everything I knew, just so I could stand here like a dummy on a cold station platform. And what did I get for it? Nothing much, just my life.
    I killed a man.
    I killed the man.
    But I didn’t have any choice, did I? I mean, what else could I have done?
    I suppose I could have called out at that point, shouted for help or the police but even in my shocked state I knew that was a really dumb idea. All the cops would be left with was a bit of CCTV footage of me being stabbed and dropped on the ground. They’d issue descriptions of some shaven-headed blokes who’d be back in Moscow before their identikit pictures appeared in the Journal. Even if they didn’t kill me, how could I explain what had happened? The police might not unreasonably deduce I was the real murderer when they received the clip from Vitaly’s phone. So it wasn’t going to happen. They’d won, they’d got me and they knew it.
    All in all, I was astonished to be alive and I was almost pathetically grateful when Gladwell came out of the ticket office holding the long, thin piece of card that represented my freedom. I had to try very hard not to sob again at that point, because I was so relieved, ‘I bought you a first class ticket,’ he told me, ‘a little reward for killing your boss for me. I thought it would be nice to give you one last taste of the high life before you disappear for ever,’ and he smiled at me, ‘you know I almost envy you. You’ve been given a great opportunity. You can start all over again with no shite and no baggage, a clean slate. There’s many a man would kill for that, son. But then I guess you did,’ and he laughed again but suddenly his smile vanished. He leaned forward and told me, ‘just don’t come back, ever, you hear. If you do there will be no mercy from me. There’s nothing here for you now, everybody you ever worked with is dead and, if they’re not, they’ll be working for me when the weekend’s out. I’ll not be hanging around just now though. After all, I’m the man who shot Billy the Kid. I’m off to collect my missus then we’re away home on the late train. I’m going to have a hot bath and a nice meal when I get in. Tomorrow night my lads here will be doing the rounds. There won’t be a joint in the city that won’t know it’s under new ownership by midnight. You got that?’
    I didn’t have the energy to answer him but I managed a nod and he took that as a yes. He stuffed the ticket into my jacket pocket and one of the Russians gave me back my wallet. ‘No credit cards but I left you a tenner in there,’ said Gladwell, ‘let’s see how far that gets you in London eh?’ and he laughed again, ‘put him on the train.’
    The two Russians stood on the platform so they could see me through the window, making sure I didn’t try and get off but there really was no danger of that. They waited until the electric doors hissed then thumped suddenly closed and the train started to pull away before they turned their backs. By then I couldn’t have got off even if I’d wanted to and, believe me, I didn’t want to. Vitaly couldn’t resist lifting his hand in something between a wave and a mock salute.
    It was late. I was all alone in my half of the first class carriage and I was glad of it. I slumped back in the chair and my head lolled to one side as the train went high over the Tyne, crossing the railway bridge, speeding away from the city that had been my home all my life, a place to which I knew I could never return. I was so tired I could barely muster the energy to hand over my ticket when the conductor walked through. Despite my exhaustion, the relief flooded through me. It wasn’t me in that chair in a lock up with a bullet through my head, it wasn’t me that had been tortured to death for the numbers of Bobby’s bank accounts and it wasn’t me that had been beaten unrecognisable because four ex-Spetsnaz men wanted to prove they were tougher than me. I was