The Forever of Ella and Micha

as I search the ground. “Where’s my underwear?”
    Micha laughs as he watches me search through an area of tall grass. “I guess you’re going to have to make it through the day without them.”
    I put my hands on my hips. “You want me to stand up in front of a bunch of people, at a wedding, without anything on underneath my dress?”
    He shrugs, doing up the button of his jeans. “It’d be kind of nice. You could have a cool breeze and if you bent over just right—”
    “Ella!” Lila’s voice is getting closer. “Where the heck are you? I know you came out here! I saw you!”
    “Micha, please, if you know where they are, just tell me.” I peek behind the tree and when I turn around, he has a smile on his face and my black thong is dangling off his finger.
    I snatch them away and slip them back on, smoothing out my dress. Then I hurry back through the trees, pulling bits of leaves and twigs out of my hair with Micha at my heels, chuckling under his breath.
    Lila is waiting at the border of the forest and her eyebrows arc when she sees Micha is with me. “Umm… Caroline needs you to get ready.” Laughter hints her voice.
    “Okay.” I hurry up the hill, leaving the two of them to walk back to the canopy together.
    I don’t know what to do. I still believe that I’m not good for him, even though he insists the opposite, but I can’t seem to stay away from him.
    Around the corner of the canopy, there is a line of bridesmaids dressed in the same black velvet dresses and the groomsmen wearing matching tuxes. Caroline is at the front next to her father, an older man with salt-and-pepper hair. Her wedding dress is beautiful, not quite white but close, with a black ribbon tied around the center and the bottom flowing out at the waist.
    Caroline’s expression relaxes as she presses her hand against her heart, crushing some of the flowers in her bouquet. “Thank God, Ella.” She bunches her dress up and rushes toward me. “Why do you have leaves in your hair?”
    My hand shoots up to my hair and bits and piece of twigs fall out. “I went for a walk in the woods.”
    “Hurry up and get in line.” She gives me a small bouquet and shoos me toward the back of the line. “It’s about to start.”
    I hurry beside the groomsman, who’s shorter than me with black hair that curls up at his ears. He’s probably my age and I feel his eyes on me, checking me out, but my attention remains ahead at the front of the line. Inside, Dean is standing next to the minister in his tux and his brown hair is styled to the side. He looks happy and I envy him with every ounce of my heart.
    I’ve never thought about marriage like most girls do. When I was younger, I didn’t play dress up and make the boy next door be my groom. I never looked that far forward into the future, because I feared what lay ahead.
    But watching Dean about to get married, I wonder if marriage is in my future. I struggle to breathe as panic strangles me, wanting to see it, but all there is is a black hole with no images.
    The music starts and my thoughts snap back to reality. The line moves forward gradually and the groomsman links arms with me.
    “My name is Luke, by the way,” he whispers in my ear.
    I jolt away from him. “Mine’s Ella.”
    He smiles at me as we enter into the canopy where purple and black ribbons hang from the ceiling, lights sparkle along the walls, and rows and rows of violets decorate the front area. Everyone is staring and I grow more anxious, but I breathe through it. When we reach the end of the aisle, I happily release Luke’s arm and walk to the back of the row of bridesmaids.
    Clutching onto the bouquet, I focus on Caroline and Dean, but there is a heightened sense of awareness that Micha is watching me from the back row.
    The minister starts his speech and my mind automatically drifts to my future again. I want to see it desperately. I want to know how my life goes.
    Adrenaline consumes my body and I fidget with the petals on the violet flowers, mentally telling myself to stay calm as Dean and Caroline read their vows. Listening to their words of love and commitment, my body stills. I want this. So much. I want someone to be mine forever—I want Micha.
    But I need to become a person we can both love; otherwise we’ll never make it.

Chapter 9
Micha
    I can’t take my eyes off her the entire ceremony. She’s never been much of a crier in public so it’s startling to watch her try to choke back the tears