The Game

place.
    Overall for the night, I was feeling out of state, and it was reflecting in my sarges. I wasn’t doing as well as I normally do. I went to the second floor and found Vision. Some girl was wearing his scarf and he couldn’t find her. So I was talking to him about this, and then this girl, WideFace, walked by and gave me serious eye contact. She said, “Hi.”
    Chicks rarely open me, so I said to her, “Hey, have you seen this guy’s scarf?”
    I just talked bullshit. I knew it didn’t matter what I said by the look on her wide face.
    After scarf chat:
WIDEFACE: You are very beautiful ( spoken with a quarter Chinese/quarter English/quarter rich Chinese/quarter Zsa Zsa Gabor accent).
    EXTRAMASK: Is that right? Thank you.
    WIDEFACE: So, when did you get here?
    As you can see, the conversation was lame, but I knew it was on. I knew if I ran my routines on her, then I’d be going backward in the sarge.
    We talked about standard shit: work, what we did tonight, brief history of ourselves, etc. We moved to a location that wasn’t as crowded. (She requested the move.) As we stood around chatting, Vision gave me social proof by occasionally walking by and patting me on the shoulder and shit like that. It all helps.
WIDEFACE: What are you looking for tonight?
    EXTRAMASK: ( Thinking: Holy Shit—I think I’m gonna get laid.)
    EXTRAMASK: I don’t know. What are you looking for?
    WIDEFACE: I am looking for excitement.
    EXTRAMASK: Yeah, I’m looking for excitement too (spoken casually).
    WIDEFACE: Would you like to come with my friend and me?
    EXTRAMASK: Sure, just let me tell my friend that I’m leaving.
    WIDEFACE: Okay, I’ll be right over there.
    I went looking for Vision.
EXTRAMASK: Dude, it’s on. I think I’m gonna get laid.
    VISION: Go, go. Get out of here.
    Okay, so I found WideFace and her Serbian girlfriend. We held hands and walked to her car, which was about fifteen minutes away. I was pretty nervous about the whole thing. Then I calmed the fuck down.
    What did we talk about on the way to her car? Nothing much, just lame talk about how cold it was, what I do, and other general chitchat. It was so implied that this was a one-night stand. We got to her car and her friend said she wanted pizza. Here’s what Extramask was thinking:
EXTRAMASK: FUCK PIZZA, YOU STUPID BITCH. I’M A VIRGIN AND I WANT TO GET LAID FUCKING NOW. GO TAKE YOUR OWN CAR AND GET YOUR OWN FUCKING PIZZA.
    Conveniently, WideFace forgot about the pizza and accidentally passed by the store. We dropped her friend off, and I moved to the front seat. I was looking at her mediocre body thinking, “This is cool. I’m gonna get to touch all of that shit.”
    Again, the conversation in the car wasn’t about sex. It was lame chitchat. When I previously asked her what course she was taking in school, she said, “I’ll tell you later.” I asked her this about three times, and each time she got more frustrated with me. I didn’t care. It fucking bugged me that this was the only thing she wouldn’t tell me.
    She ended up telling me when we were alone in her car. It was some lamo general college course. It was a nonissue. Then she told me her “dream job.” I asked her about it, even though I didn’t give a shit.
WIDEFACE: I want to be a police officer.
    EXTRAMASK: ( Thinking: You’d be the worst police officer on the planet. You’ll never be a police officer.)
    EXTRAMASK: Why don’t you pursue your dream?
    WIDEFACE: Blah blah blah, drivel drivel drivel, jibber jabber jibber jabber.
    We got to her place. She lives in the penthouse of this big fucking condo with a roommate. Her room was fucking huge. She had this big Trinitron TV in it. She told me to choose some music, because she was going to the bathroom for a bit. I put on some hip-hop channel since she said she liked that kind of stuff earlier.
    She came out in her pajamas. I pinned her to the ground and bukkaked her! No, seriously…she came out in her pajamas and told me I could go use the bathroom. I didn’t need to, but I figured this was part of the whole sex thing, so I went. Remember, brothers, I was virgin at this point—I had no clue. So I went to the bathroom and just kinda stood there. I didn’t wash my cock or anything. The only thing I thought of doing was calling Vision to tell him that I was about to fuck her, but I thought that would be lame.
    So, I was thinking, should I walk out totally nude? Hmm. I decided to walk out the same way I went in, which was