The Last Assassin

it? My “it’s me all alone against the world bullshit,” that was it. And to support that bullshit, I’d been deluding myself in a variety of areas.
    For one thing, I’d been making too much of Midori’s memory. Yes, we had chemistry. And the time we’d been pursued by Yamaoto in Tokyo had involved enough friction so that sparks were inevitable. But after our split, I wanted to believe that whatever had been between us was unique, that it could never happen again. Because if it was exceptional, it must be an exception, maybe even the exception that proved the rule. And the rule was that I would always be alone, and could never trust anyone.
    But my partnership with Dox didn’t fit comfortably with that rule. And my relationship with Delilah suggested that Midori hadn’t just been a one-off, either. So now, some wretched part of me was intent on turning Dox and Delilah into exceptions, too, so it could pat itself on the back and proclaim, “See? I told you so.”
    What I was doing, I was sabotaging myself. Well, it was time I stopped.
    One day, I called Delilah on her cell phone. When she answered, I asked her, “How would it be if I came to see you?”
    There was a long pause. She said, “I don’t know. How would it be?”
    “I’m not sure. But I’d like to find out.”
    There was another pause. She said, “So would I.”
    “Where are you? Paris?”
    “No, I’m back in Barcelona.”
    “Different cover?”
    “No. I just need someplace new for a while.”
    “How did things turn out at work?”
    “The review is over. They told me they were going to give me a formal reprimand. I told them if they did they could kiss my ass and find someone else to do what I do. Now they’re rethinking.”
    “What are you going to do now?”
    “I don’t know. I could use someone to talk about it with, though.”
    “I’d like that. I could use someone to talk with, too.”
    “How soon can you be here?”
    I paused, then said, “I’ll be on the next fucking flight, if you’ll have me.”
    She laughed and said, “Well, what are you waiting for?”
    I smiled. “Let me go take care of the travel stuff. I’ll call you back.”
    There was a flight on Iberia, leaving at four o’clock that very day. I booked a seat and told Delilah I was coming. Then I called Dox.
    “It’s me,” I said. “John.”
    “Yeah? John who?”
    I smiled. “Nice try. Pretty soon you’re going to be angling to get me to say my social security number over the phone. But you can only push me so far.”
    He laughed. “How you doing?”
    “I’m all right. I’ve been doing some thinking.”
    “Well, that sounds promising.”
    “Yeah. I owe you an apology.”
    “That’s the truth.”
    There was a pause. I said, “Well, I apologize.”
    “All right, I accept. Too bad you’re not here, I’d give you one of those hugs you crave.”
    “Yeah, I’m broken up about that, too.”
    We were quiet for a moment. I said, “You know, you called me a dumbass.”
    “Well, you were acting like one. I didn’t mean to imply that the condition was permanent. That’s up to you. Sounds like maybe you’ve opted for something better.”
    “Maybe ‘recovering dumbass.’”
    He laughed again. “You talk to Delilah?”
    “I’m going to see her later today.”
    “Good. You let me know how that works out, all right?”
    “I will.”
    There was another pause. I said, “Where are you, Bali?”
    “Yeah, I’m building a house out here. You ought to come see it.”
    “I’d like that. And if you need a break, why don’t you come out to Barcelona?”
    “That where you’re going to see Delilah?”
    “Yeah. You should come out. You know, the three of us never had a chance to celebrate after what we did in Tokyo. And you’re rich now, you can afford the flight.”
    He laughed. “That’s true. Tell you what, I’ll come out today.”
    “Uh, maybe you should wait just a few…”
    He laughed again. “I’m pulling your leg, man. You two have a lot to talk about and I don’t want to be in the way. Plus I reckon you’ll need some of the old conjugal time together. So I’ll tell you what. You call me in a few days or a week, and if everyone’s amenable it’ll be my pleasure to come out and pop some of the bubbly.”
    I found myself thinking of Tatsu. I said, “You’re a good friend to me, Dox. Thank you.”
    “Don’t mention it, man. I’ll see you soon, here or there.”
    I caught a cab to the airport. I watched through the