The Perks of Being a Wallflower

together. Dave and his girl. And I got really mad. It kind of scared me how mad I got. I thought about walking up to Dave and really hurting him like maybe I should have really hurt Sean. And I think I would have, but Sam saw me and put her arm around my shoulder like she does. She calmed me down, and I guess I’m glad she did because I think I would have gotten even madder if I started hitting Dave, and his girl stopped me because she loved him. I think I would have gotten even madder about that.
    So, I decided to do the next best thing and let the air out of Dave’s tires. Sam knew which was his car.
    There is a feeling that I had Friday night after the homecoming game that I don’t know if I will ever be able to describe except to say that it is warm. Sam and Patrick drove me to the party that night, and I sat in the middle of Sam’s pickup truck. Sam loves her pickup truck because I think it reminds her of her dad. The feeling I had happened when Sam told Patrick to find a station on the radio. And he kept getting commercials. And commercials. And a really bad song about love that had the word “baby” in it. And then more commercials. And finally he found this really amazing song about this boy, and we all got quiet.
    Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something.
    “I feel infinite.”
    And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way. I have since bought the record, and I would tell you what it was, but truthfully, it’s not the same unless you’re driving to your first real party, and you’re sitting in the middle seat of a pickup with two nice people when it starts to rain.
    We got to the house where the party was, and Patrick did this secret knock. It would be hard to describe to you this knock without sound. The door opened a crack, and this guy with frizzy hair looked out at us.
    “Patrick known as Patty known as Nothing?”
    “Bob.”
    The door opened, and the old friends hugged each other. Then, Sam and Bob hugged each other. Then, Sam spoke.
    “This is our friend, Charlie.”
    And you won’t believe it. Bob hugged me! Sam told me as we were hanging up our coats that Bob was “baked like a fucking cake.” I really had to quote that one even though it has a swear.
    The party was in the basement of this house. The room was quite smoky, and the kids were much older. There were two girls showing each other their tattoos and belly button rings. Seniors, I think.
    This guy named Fritz something was eating a lot of Twinkies. Fritz’s girlfriend was talking to him about women’s rights, and he kept saying, “I know, baby.”
    Sam and Patrick started smoking cigarettes. Bob went up to the kitchen when he heard the bell ring. When he came back, he brought a can of Milwaukee’s Best beer for everyone, as well as two new party guests. There was Maggie, who needed to use the bathroom. And there was Brad, the quarterback of the high school football team. No kidding!
    I do not know why this excited me, but I guess when you see somebody in the hallway or on the field or something, it’s nice to know that they are a real person.
    Everyone was very friendly to me and asked me a lot of questions about myself. I guess because I was the youngest, and they didn’t want me to feel out of place, especially after I said no to having a beer. I once had a beer with my brother when I was twelve, and I just didn’t like it. It’s really that simple for me.
    Some of the questions I was asked was what grade I was in and what did I want to be when I grow up.
    “I am a freshman, and I don’t know just yet.”
    I looked around, and I saw that Sam and Patrick had left with Brad. That’s when Bob started passing around food.
    “Would you like a brownie?”
    “Yes. Thank you.”
    I was actually quite hungry because normally Sam and Patrick take me to the Big Boy after the football games, and I guess I was used to it by now. I ate the brownie, and it tasted a little weird, but it was still a brownie, so I still liked it. But this was not an ordinary brownie. Since you are older, I think you know what kind of brownie it was.
    After thirty minutes, the room started to slip away from me. I was talking to