The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Pink Floyd Laser Light Show?”
    “Beer before liquor. Never sicker.”
    When they ran out of small talk, they just looked at each other. And they ended up fooling around right there in the basement. Patrick said it was like the weight of the whole world left both their shoulders.
    But Monday in school, Brad kept saying the same thing.
    “Man, I was so wasted. I don’t remember a thing.”
    He said it to everyone who was at the party. He said it a few times to the same people. He even said it to Patrick. Nobody saw Patrick and Brad fool around, but Brad kept saying it anyway. That Friday, there was another party. And this time, Patrick and Brad got stoned although Patrick said that Brad was pretending to be a lot more stoned than he really was. And they ended up fooling around again. And Monday in school, Brad did the same thing.
    “Man, I was so wasted. I don’t remember a thing.”
    This went on for seven months.
    It got to a point where Brad was getting stoned or drunk before school. It’s not like he and Patrick were fooling around in school. They only fooled around at parties on Fridays, but Patrick said Brad couldn’t even look at him in the hall, let alone speak with him. And it was hard, too, because Patrick really liked Brad.
    When summer came, Brad didn’t have to worry about school or anything, so his drinking and smoking got a lot worse. There was a big party at Patrick and Sam’s house with the less than popular crowd. Brad showed up, which caused quite a stir because he was popular, but Patrick kept a secret as to why Brad came to the party. When most people left, Brad and Patrick went into Patrick’s room.
    They had sex for the first time that night.
    I don’t want to go into detail about it because it’s pretty private stuff, but I will say that Brad assumed the role of the girl in terms of where you put things. I think that’s pretty important to tell you. When they were finished, Brad started to cry really hard. He had been drinking a lot. And getting really really stoned.
    No matter what Patrick did, Brad kept crying. Brad wouldn’t even let Patrick hold him, which seems rather sad to me because if I have sex with someone, I would want to hold them.
    Finally, Patrick just pulled up Brad’s pants, and said to him.
    “Just pretend you’re passed out.”
    Then, Patrick got dressed and walked around the house to go into the party from a different direction than his bedroom. He was also crying pretty bad, and he decided if anyone asked him, he would say his eyes were red from smoking pot. Finally, he shook himself out of it and walked into the main party room. He acted really drunk. He went to Sam. “Have you seen Brad?” Sam saw the look in Patrick’s eyes. Then, she spoke up to the party.
    “Hey, has anyone seen Brad?”
    Nobody at the party had, so a few people went to search for him. They finally found him in Patrick’s room… asleep.
    Finally, Patrick called Brad’s parents because he was really worried about him. He didn’t tell them why, but he said that Brad was really sick at this party and needed to be taken home. Brad’s parents did come, and Brad’s father, along with some of the other boys including Patrick, carried Brad to the car.
    Patrick doesn’t know if Brad was really asleep or not at that point, but if he wasn’t, it was a good acting job. Brad’s parents sent him to rehabilitation because Brad’s father didn’t want him to miss his chance at a football scholarship. Patrick didn’t see Brad for the rest of the summer.
    Brad’s parents never did figure out why their son was getting stoned and drunk all the time. Neither did anybody else. Except the people who knew.
    When the school year started, Brad avoided Patrick a lot. He never went to the same parties as Patrick or anything until a little over a month ago. That was the night he threw rocks at Patrick’s window and told Patrick that nobody could know, and Patrick understood. They only see each other now at night on golf courses and at parties like Bob’s where the people are quiet and understand these things.
    I asked Patrick if he felt sad that he had to keep it a secret, and Patrick just said that he wasn’t sad because at least now, Brad doesn’t have to get drunk or stoned to make love.
    Love always,
Charlie           
    November 8, 1991
    Dear friend,
    Bill gave me my first Bin advanced English class for my paper on Peter Pan! To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I did