The Reunion

weather, or what time he wanted breakfast. ‘Sleep well, Jen.’
    It was hours before she fell asleep and when she did she dreamed she was lost in the wood behind the house. Night was falling and she was afraid, and the only way to find the path out was to follow a trail of blood.

 
     
    Fragments of letters from Jen to Dan, never sent
     
    10 March 1996
    You are in my head and I can’t get rid of you. Why won’t you go away? I think I am in love with you. How can I be, when I love him so much? It makes no sense, none of it.
     
    12 April 1996
    I’m sorry for the silence. I want desperately for us to be able to talk again, to be normal again, to be friends again. I miss you, Dan. I don’t even know how you feel, whether you’re sad or angry, whether you care at all. I know that there’s no chance I’m going to send this letter, I’m too much of a coward and I’m scared of what you’ll say. Still, writing the words down makes me feel better.
     
    4 January 1997
    I can never come back. I cannot see you, I cannot look at you and not think about what I did to him, and when I think about what I did, my throat closes up and I cannot breathe.
    I hope you are happy, my boy. Lost boy. Now I’m lost too.

Chapter Twenty-five

    THE COFFEE WAS rich and sweet and delicious, the pain au chocolat still warm, the chocolate inside gooey and unctuous. Lilah was ravenous. ‘I can’t believe how much I’ve eaten this weekend,’ she said through a mouthful of wonderfully light, flaky pastry. ‘I must have put on half a stone.’
    Andrew raised an eyebrow. ‘You could stand to gain a few pounds, Lilah.’
    ‘At my age, darling, everything you gain you keep.’
    ‘I am your age, Lilah. And you may have noticed that I’ve been gaining and keeping for quite some time.’
    Lilah grinned. ‘You’re still gorgeous,’ she said, waving at Madame Caron to top up her coffee cup.
    Lilah was feeling remarkably chipper given everything that had happened yesterday: the booze, the fight, the blizzard, the crash, more booze… Still. It had been a wonderful end to the evening. It was almost, she thought, worth all the drama that went before it, making up with Andrew in front of the fire. It was only now that she was with him that she realised how much she’d missed him, how much he’d been missing from her life. How much he still meant to her.
    She wasn’t sure he felt the same, though. He was distracted, constantly looking out of the window at the snow which lay thick and undisturbed on the road outside.
    ‘Doesn’t look like we’ll be getting back to the house any time soon, does it?’ Lilah asked cheerfully.
    He shook his head. ‘Nat’s going to be so upset.’
    Lilah shrugged. ‘Nothing we can do about it now, is there? Do you want the last pain au chocolat?’ He shook his head. ‘Don’t worry so much, Drew. It’ll be fine. In any case, this whole thing was kind of her fault, you know.’
    ‘Mmm-hmm.’ He wasn’t going to be drawn on that.
    ‘It’ll be OK. I’ll tell her nothing happened.’ She bit her lower lip and gave him a wink.
    ‘Lilah.’
    ‘I will! And she’ll believe me. I’ll be very convincing. You know how convincing I can be.’ She fluttered her eyelashes, her mouth arranged into a demure pout.
    ‘Stop that.’
    She giggled. ‘Oh, lighten up. She’ll be so happy to see you again, alive and in one piece, she’s not going to worry about one night in a hotel room with me.’
    Andrew rolled his eyes at her. ‘Oh, yeah. She’s going to forget all about it.’ He sipped his coffee. ‘I don’t know what you’re so cheerful about anyway. What about Zac? Don’t you think he’ll be upset about the fact you just spent the night with your ex?’
    Lilah laughed, loud and long. ‘Drew, darling, I’m really sorry but I just don’t think Zac sees you as much of a threat.’
    Andrew smiled ruefully. ‘No. I remember the days when I had a six-pack like that. There weren’t many blokes I was worried about then either.’
    ‘Sweetheart, you never had a six-pack like that.’
    ‘Cheers, Lilah. You’re making me feel so much better.’
    Monsieur Caron approached their table, beaming at Lilah, his arms slightly outstretched as though he intended to give her a hug.
    ‘Bonjour les anglais! Comment ç va? Vous avez bien dormi?’ He winked at Andrew, the subtext clear: if I was in bed with her, I wouldn’t get much sleep either.
    ‘Oui, oui, très bien,’ Andrew said, his French making him