The Science of Discworld Revised Edition

cement the parental relationship, encouraging each parent to trust the other. This may be why, even in an allegedly sexually relaxed age, most people see extramarital flings as a form of betrayal – and why, despite that, the erring partner is more often than not allowed back into the family fold.
    It’s not surprising that we have sex on the brain: our brains have been moulded by sex. The Dean should let sex take its course, for intelligence will surely follow … You just have to think on the scale of Deep Time. There’s no rush.
    1 To find out how, see
The science of Discworld II: The Globe
.

FORTY-THREE
OOK: A SPACE ODYSSEY

    RINCEWIND SAT IN a corner of the High Energy Magic building. It was deserted at the moment. News had got around that the project was really being ended this time, and wizards had drifted away to lunch.
    The round world spun in its protective globe and also, by means of a physics only a wizard might understand, in a space that was infinite only on the inside.
    ‘Poor old bloody place,’ he said, to the world in general. ‘Never really stood a chance, did you.’
    ‘Ook.’
    It was a small grunt, from the other side of the huge room. Rincewind wandered over, and found the Librarian peering into the omniscope.
    ‘Oh, they’ve got sticks now,’ said Rincewind, looking down at a ragged party of apes. ‘And a lot of good it’ll do them, too.’
    ‘Ook?’
    ‘The lizards had sharp shells on the end of theirs, and are they around today? I don’t think so. And the crabs were doing well. Even the blobs were trying to make a go of things. There were some bear sort of things that looked promising. Doesn’t matter. One winter the snow doesn’t melt, next thing there’s a two-mile wall of ice laminating you to the bedrock. Or there’s a funny light in the sky and then you’re trying to breathe burning water.’ He shook his head wearily. ‘Nice place, though. Nice colours. Particularly good horizons, once you get used to them. Lots of dullness, punctuated by short periods of death.’
    ‘Ook?’ said the Librarian.
    ‘Well, maybe they do look a bit like you,’ said Rincewind. ‘Most of the lizards looked a bit like the Bursar. Maybe it’s just coincidence. Everything has to look like something, after all. As above, so below.’
    In the omniscope, some distance behind the ape clan, something lean and powerful was tracking them in the long grass.
    ‘Eeek!’
    The Librarian thumped on the desk.
    ‘Sorry. It’s not up to me. “Live and let live”, you know that’s always been
my
motto. Well, “let
me
live”, really, but that’s almost the same thing.’
    Hands waving wildly over his head, which only happened when he was really in a hurry, the Librarian ran out of the room.
    Rincewind caught him up as he entered the main building, and then trotted along after him as the ape wound his way through the university’s less salubrious regions, the realm of broom cupboards, old storerooms and the studies of the very much lesser members of staff. Even using all the shortcuts, it still took quite a while to reach the office of the Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography, with the name ‘Rincewind’ written on it in chalk.
    The orangutan flung the door back and knuckled purposefully towards the big stack of boxes.
    ‘Er … that’s the rock collection,’ said Rincewind. ‘Er … I was filing them … er … they belong to the University, I really don’t think you should be throwing them out like that –’
    ‘Ook!’
    The Librarian straightened up, bearing aloft a couple of large rocks that Rincewind recognized as noduley, sharp, brittle, unfriendly rocks.
    ‘Er … why are you …’ Rincewind began.
    The Librarian walked across to the Luggage and gave it a kick. The lid opened obediently, and the rocks were thrown inside. The ape went back for more flints.
    ‘Er …’ said Rincewind, but left it at that. This did not seem to be a time to raise objections.
    He had to run after the Librarian and the Luggage all the way back to the High Energy Magic Building. By the time he got there, the ape was pounding heavily on one of H EX ’s keyboards.
    Rincewind tried again.
    ‘Er … should you be …’
    He was interrupted by the rattle of the machine’s writing device.
    It spelled out: +++ New Suit Parameters Accepted +++
    On the far side of the room, where the skeletal virtually-there suits flicked on the verge of non-existence, one changed shape. The shoulders