The Science of Discworld Revised Edition

widened. The arms grew longer. The legs shortened –
    +++ Adjustment Complete. On You It Looks Good +++
    Rincewind backed away as the Librarian, cradling a large flint nodule in each arm, stepped in the magic circle and began to shimmer as the suit enclosed him. The new parameters definitely made it look more
solid
…
    ‘You’re not going to
interfere
, are you?’ said Rincewind.
    ‘Ook?’
    ‘No, no, that’s fine, fine, no problem at all,’ said Rincewind. It is never wise to argue with an ape holding a rock. ‘It’s about time someone did.’
    The Librarian flickered, and became a ghost in the air.
    Rincewind stood alone in the empty room, whistling nervously. In its alcove, H EX began to sparkle, as it always did when it was trying to allow a wizard to interact with the project.
    ‘Blast!’ said Rincewind at last, striding over to the suits. ‘He’s
bound
to muck it up …’
    Lightning fried the evening sky, turning it purple and pink.
    Above the little hollow in the cliff, where the tribe clustered and flinched, a sleek black shadow moved like an extension of the night. It wasn’t hurrying. Dinner wasn’t going anywhere. When the lightning faded its eyes gleamed for a while.
    Something grabbed its tail. It spun around, snarling, and a fist extended on the end of a very long arm hit it right between the eyes, lifting it off the ledge.
    It landed heavily on the ground, jerked for a moment, and lay still.
    The ape horde scattered around the rocks, screaming, and then stopped to look back.
    The big cat didn’t move.
    Another bolt of lighting hit the ground nearby, and a dead tree exploded into flame. Against the violet corona of the storm, red in the light of the burning tree, a huge figure stood holding a large stone in the crook of each arm.
    As Rincewind said, it was a vision you were unlikely to forget.
    Rincewind couldn’t eat here. Well, not in the usual, definitive way. He thought he could probably manipulate lumps of food into his mouth, but since the food would technically remain in a different universe to his, he was afraid it might drop straight through him, to general embarrassment and the puzzlement of spectators.
    Besides, he didn’t feel like flame-grilled leopard.
    The Librarian had been working furiously. He’d turned the area into a boot camp for people who were barely upright and wouldn’t know what to do with a boot anyway. The apemen had taken to fire quite quickly, after a few misdirected attempts to eat it or have sex with it, and several of them had progressed to setting fire to themselves.
    They’d learned cookery, too, initially on one another.
    Rincewind sighed. He’d seen species come, and he’d seen them go, and this one could only have been put on the world for entertainment value. They had the same approach to life as clowns, with the same touch of cheerful viciousness.
    The Librarian had progressed to lessons in flint-knapping, using the flints brought in via the Luggage. They’d certainly picked up the idea of hitting rocks against other rocks, or anything else in range. Sharp edges intrigued them.
    Finally Rincewind wandered over to the Librarian and tapped him on the shoulder.
    ‘We’ve been here all day,’ he said. ‘We’d better get back.’
    The orangutan nodded, and stood up. ‘Ook.’
    ‘You think it’ll work?’
    ‘Ook!’
    Rincewind looked back at the apemen. One of them was industriously hacking at the corpse of the cat again.
    ‘Really? But they’re just like … hairy parrots.’
    ‘Eek ook.’
    ‘Well … yes. That’s true.’ Rincewind took a final look at the horde. Two of them were squabbling over the meat. Monkey see, monkey do …
    ‘I’m glad it was
you
who said that,’ he said.
    Less than a Discworld second had passed by the time they returned. By the time they looked in the omniscope, several fires were already visible on the night side of the world.
    The Librarian looked pleased. ‘Oook,’ he said.
    Progress means smoke. But Rincewind was not entirely convinced. Most of the fires were forests.

FORTY-FOUR
EXTEL OUTSIDE

    PROGRESS MEANS SMOKE … The human race has certainly made a lot of progress over the years, then. How did we do that? Because we’re
intelligent
, we’ve got
brains
. Minds, even. But other creatures are intelligent – dolphins, especially. And all they seem to do is enjoy themselves in the sea. What have we got that they haven’t?
    Many discussions of the mind treat it essentially as a question