The Summer of Sir Lancelot

day‘s theatre duty.‘
    ‘Get out!‘ roared Sir Lancelot. ‘You ruddy stuffed vulture! Come in!‘ he added loudly. ‘No, I was not the patient calling for the bedpan!‘ he informed the redheaded nurse. ‘I might just as well try and get a bit of kip slap in the middle of Selfridge‘s Bargain Basement.‘
    He opened the telegram. It was from Lady Spratt in Majorca, saying she was sorry to hear of the news and was hurrying home. He gave a sigh. He looked at his watch. He tugged his beard. Drawing the sheet to his chin he closed his eyes again. He had in fact tottered over the hard edge of consciousness into the soft billows of sleep when the next tap came at his door.
    ‘Go away, blast your guts!‘ He sat bolt upright. ‘Oh, come in, my dear,‘ he added more quietly, as Nikki Sparrow appeared.
    ‘I hope it‘s quite convenient, visiting you now?‘ she asked with a smile. ‘Perfectly,‘ he told her coldly. ‘It is the afternoon I hold open house.‘
    ‘I‘ve brought you some grapes.‘ She put them down beside the tooth mug. ‘I had to come now because it is my last chance of seeing you alone. Simon‘s safely scrubbed up in the theatre. I don‘t want him ever to know I‘ve been here, of course.‘
    ‘Indeed?‘ Sir Lancelot plucked a grape. ‘At my age I can hardly indulge in clandestine meetings with young married women.‘
    Nikki sat on the edge of his bed and crossed her slim legs. Sir Lancelot ate another grape and mellowed slightly.
    ‘My husband has a great ambition,‘ Nikki announced.
    ‘I am already perfectly aware that he wishes to become a St Swithin‘s consultant.‘
    ‘Yes, but he also wants to be the very first one ever elected without so much as twitching a string.‘
    Sir Lancelot grunted. He reached for a third grape.
    ‘And every time there‘s a chance of your pulling a few for him, Lancelot, the pair of you seem to end up in a flaming row.‘
    ‘I didn‘t want to be over-severe on Simon, my dear. But I should have thought him better advised to save his impertinence towards me until he was actually on the staff.‘
    ‘It‘s only a defence mechanism on both sides, of course,‘ Nikki continued calmly. ‘You get rumbustious because you don‘t want to be accused, ever so faintly, of nepotism. He gets snappy because you‘ll make his life a misery afterwards, continually pushing into his theatre and belittling him in front of his students.‘
    ‘I do thatV Sir Lancelot looked shocked. ‘Never!‘
    ‘What about when poor Mr Cambridge was first elected? He had to keep altering the times of his operating lists.‘
    Sir Lancelot shifted uncomfortably.
    ‘So you see, Lancelot, Simon wants you to help him get on the staff quite as much as you do yourself,‘ she explained evenly. ‘And he‘s just as pig-stubborn as you are. So Paul Ivors-Smith will get the job when Simon is a far better surgeon, far more intelligent, and of a far sounder character,‘ she stated simply.
    ‘H‘m,‘ said Sir Lancelot.
    ‘And the Professor will utterly dominate the hospital.‘ Nikki threw another faggot on Sir Lancelot‘s smouldering doubts. ‘Paul is, poor man, quite spineless. You ought to see the way he lets his wife treat him.‘
    ‘I am not particularly enamoured of Mrs Ivors-Smith,‘ agreed Sir Lancelot, taking another grape. ‘Her transition from the sluice-room to the drawing-room has not been a happy one.‘
    ‘Then perhaps you will write a letter to Mr Nightrider?‘ continued Nikki briskly, opening her handbag. ‘Just stating how strongly you feel Simon is exactly the one for the job. I‘ve brought Biro and paper with me.‘
    ‘My dear — Come in!‘ bawled Sir Lancelot. ‘For heaven‘s sake, man, can‘t you keep away? The blasted wake hasn‘t started yet.‘
    ‘Visitor for you,‘ grinned Crimes, drawing himself up.
    ‘I am not at home.‘
    ‘His Honour the Chairman of the Hospital Governors,‘ announced Crimes impressively.
    ‘Great Scott, what does Geoff want?‘ muttered Sir Lancelot.
    ‘I‘d better go,‘ announced Nikki hastily. ‘I‘ll come and see you again when you‘re better.‘
    ‘Ah, Lancelot, there you are. I wish - I beg your pardon, madam,‘ started Mr Nightrider, stumbling over Nikki in the doorway. ‘Lancelot, I must have a word with you. At once. It is a matter of great importance.‘
    ‘I am, of course, a sick man awaiting operation. Did you suppose I should find this sudden craving for my company flattering?‘
    Mr