The Twelve Kingdoms: Shadow of the Moon

through the transparent water. The waves broke with a gentle rumble upon the shore. It was an extraordinarily sublime scene, but one far removed from what was in her heart. There was an equally striking castle in Gyouten, Kinpa Palace. To think of herself living there aroused in her not timidity but disgust.
    That's what she told him. Rakushun sighed. "A king is just an ordinary person until he is chosen by the kirin."
    "Being chosen by the kirin doesn't change anything. I'm the same person I was, stealing from people, threatening people, assaulting people when I have to. I trust nobody. I was willing to trade your life for my own."
    "The Royal En thinks you can do it."
    "He doesn't know what a miserable creature I am."
    " I think you can do it. I'm the one you were thinking of finishing off, so if I say so, then it must be so."
    Youko looked down at him, this rat who stood no higher than her stomach. He poked his head through the handrails and gazed intently at the ocean floating in the sky.
    "I just can't . . . . "
    He didn't answer her murmured dissent, only continued to stare out at the Sea of Clouds. He patted Youko on the arm with his small hand. When Youko turned to him, the gray coat of his back was already to her.
    "Rakushun."
    "All this has left me at my wit's end as well. There's nothing wrong with being confused. Take your time, think about it."
    Youko watched as he walked off into the distance. He raised his hand, but didn't turn around.
    "Rakushun," she said to herself, "even you don't know everything about me."
    But I know.
    This wasn't the sound of her own voice echoing inside her skull. Her head shot up and she scanned the surroundings. But it wasn't a sound she had heard with her ears.
    You have not been alone. I have seen everything.
    "Jouyuu?"
    Accept the throne. You are capable. You are qualified.
    Youko couldn't answer. That he had spoken left her speechless. And what he said, only more so.
    I have disobeyed the command of my lord. Forgive me.
    Keiki's instructions to him came back to her, "Be as if you are not there." Was this why, until this moment, he had not once responded to a thing she had said?
    You thought me a monster, begged and whined for me to be taken out of you. That is why. This was an error on your part.
    "I really am a fool," she said to herself.
    This statement went unanswered.

Chapter 61
    T he next day, Youko was awakened by her lady-in-waiting. When she took her seat for breakfast, to the question on everybody's face, she shook her head, no. Rakushun came as a rat. He nodded and fluttered his whiskers. The En and Enki showed only small signs of disappointment.
    The En said, and some bitterness was mingled with his words, "Your kingdom and your subjects are yours to do with as you wish. But in any case, I would like to see you reunited with Keiki. If you still intend to abdicate, that is another matter. At the very least, for the sake of the kingdom, you should want the Saiho back safe and sound. Do you not think so?"
    Youko nodded. "I haven't come to any conclusion in my own regard, but I don't object to rescuing Keiki. But how?"
    "We have no recourse but to force. Keiki is being kept in Sei Province, in the midst of the pretender's army."
    "If Keiki can be rescued, then can I go home? I am asking a simple question."
    The En nodded. "Keiki can precipitate a shoku. Because you have the constitution to cross the Kyokai, there would be no difficulty. Rightly or wrongly, if you wish to return and Keiki refuses, I shall have Enki carry it out."
    He was a fair person, Youko thought. He could equally have threatened not to if she refused to become king.
    "Frankly, I'd rather not," said Enki. "When the time comes, get Keiki to do it."
    The En glared at him. "Rokuta."
    "Since you're playing dumb, I'll fill her in. Calamities occur whenever there's a shoku. If it's only a kirin crossing over, a windstorm, maybe. But in the case of a king crossing over as well, we're talking massive destruction. And it'll happen over there, too."
    "In Japan?"
    "Yes. Here and there. Because here and there are not meant to mingle together. When you were brought here, the shoku caused widespread damage in Kou. But considering that it was royalty crossing the Kyokai, it was a pretty minor catastrophe. That's not bound to be the case next time. If it was up to me, I'd have no part of it."
    "If I am able to go home, I wouldn't want to impose so on Keiki."
    "Suit yourself," he said with a rather sardonic