This Girl: A Novel

I don’t know if she could give me one if she wanted to.”
    “We don’t need to push our luck with her, Lake. I want to do this right.” I’m lucky that Julia would even allow her to be with me at this point. The last thing I want to do is upset her.
    “Do we have to talk about my mom right now, Will?”
    I smile and shake my head. “No.” I slip my hand behind her head and pull her mouth to mine, kissing her like I don’t care who might be watching. Hell, I don’t care. I kiss her crazy for several minutes until it gets to the point that my hands can’t stay above her shoulders for much longer. I pull away just enough for us to catch our breath.
    “Let’s go to your house,” she whispers.
    The suggestion is so tempting. I close my eyes and pull her to my chest. “I need to talk to your mom first before I pull something like that. I need to know what our boundaries are.”
    She laughs. “Why? So we can push them?”
    I lift her chin and pull her gaze to mine. “Exactly.”
    The entryway light flicks off, then back on. An indication that Julia is setting some boundaries.
    “Dammit,” I groan into her neck. “I guess this is goodnight.”
    “Yeah, I guess so,” she says. “I’ll see you tomorrow, though, right? What time do you have to leave for graduation?”
    “Not until tomorrow afternoon. You want to come over for breakfast? I’ll make you whatever you want.”
    She nods. “And lunch? What are you doing for lunch?”
    “Cooking for you,” I say.
    “And dinner? I might want to have dinner with you, too.”
    She’s so cute. “Actually, we have plans. My grandparents are coming to graduation and we’re going out to dinner afterward. Will you come?”
    A worried look crosses her face. “Do you think that’s a good idea? What if someone sees us together? You’re technically still a teacher, even though you’re between jobs.”
    Dammit. I’m really starting to hate this new job and I haven’t even started yet. “I guess I do need to figure that out tomorrow.”
    “I do want to come to your graduation, though. Is that okay?”
    “You better,” I say to her. I’ve wanted her there more than anyone, but until tonight I didn’t think that was a possibility. “It’ll be hard as hell keeping my hands off you, though.”
    I kiss her one last time, then back away from her. “I love you.”
    “I love you, too.”
    I turn and begin walking away. My emotions are contradicting themselves because I feel absolutely elated that we’re finally together, but devastated that I have to leave her right now. I turn around to look at her one last time and when I catch sight of her watching me walk away, a satisfied smile spreads across my face.
    “What?” she asks when she sees the look on my face.
    Just seeing the smile on her face is enough to keep me satisfied for the rest of my life. Seeing her happy again is better than any feeling in the world. I never want to see her sad again. “This will be worth it, Lake. Everything we had to go through. I promise. Even if you have to wait for me, I’ll make it worth it.”
    The smile fades from her eyes and she clutches her hand to her heart. “You already have, Will.”
    That. Right there. I don’t deserve her.
    I walk swiftly back to where she’s standing and take her face in my hands. “I mean it,” I say. “I love you so damn much, it hurts.” I force my lips against hers, then pull away just as fast. “But it hurts in a really good way.” I briefly kiss her again. “We thought it was hard being apart before? How the hell am I supposed to sleep after tonight? After actually getting to kiss you like this? After hearing you tell me you love me?” I kiss her again and walk her until she’s against her Jeep.
    I kiss her like I’ve wanted to kiss her since the moment I knew how perfect we were together. How much we made sense. I kiss her with abandon, knowing I’ll never have to walk away from her again. I kiss her knowing that this won’t be our last kiss. That it won’t even be our best kiss. I kiss her knowing that this kiss is our beginning, not another good-bye.
    I continue to kiss her, even when the light turns off and on several more times.
    We both notice the light, but neither of us seems to care. It takes us several minutes to actually slow down and pull apart. I press my forehead to hers and look directly into her eyes when she opens them. “This is it, Lake,” I say, pointing back and forth between us. “It’s