Too Far 01- Fallen Too Far

against the wall beside my head. “I’m not designer. Get that through your head. I can’t touch you. I want to so damn bad it hurts like a motherfucker but I can’t. I won’t mess you up. You’re… you’re perfect and untouched. And in the end you would never forgive me.”
    My heart pounded against my chest painfully. The sorrow in his eyes wasn’t something I had been able to see outside. In here I could see emotion in those silver depths. His forehead was creased as if something was hurting him.
    “What if I want you to touch me? Maybe I’m not so untouched. Maybe I’m already tainted.” My body was pretty much untouched but staring up into Rush’s eyes I wanted to ease his ache. I didn’t want him to stay away from me. I wanted to make him smile. That beautiful face shouldn’t look so haunted.
    He ran a finger down the side of my face and traced the curve of my ear then brushed his thumb over my chin. “I’ve been with a lot of girls, Blaire. Trust me, I’ve never met one as fucking perfect as you. The innocence in your eyes screams at me. I want to peel every inch of your clothing off and bury myself inside you but I can’t. You saw me tonight. I’m a screwed up sick bastard. I can’t touch you.”
    I had seen him tonight. I’d seen him the other night too. He screwed lots of girls, but me he didn’t want to touch. He thought I was too perfect. I was on a pedestal and he wanted to keep me there. Maybe he should. I couldn’t sleep with him and not give him a piece of my heart. He was already weaseling his way in. If I let him have my body he could hurt me in a way no one had ever been able to. My guard would be down.
    “Okay,” I said. I wasn’t going to argue. This was right. “Can we at least be friends? I don’t want you to hate me. I’d like to be friends.” I sounded pathetic. I was so lonely I’d stooped to begging for friends.
    He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll be your friend. I’ll try my damnedest to be your friend but I have to be careful. I can’t get too close. You make me want things I can’t have. That sweet little body of yours feels too incredible tucked underneath me,” he dropped his voice and lowered his mouth to my ear, “and the way you taste. It’s addictive. I dream about it. I fantasize about it. I know you’ll be just as delicious in… other… places.”
    I leaned into him and closed my eyes as his breathing grew heavy in my ear. “We can’t. Fuck me. We can’t. Friends, sweet Blaire. Just friends,” he whispered then pushed away from me and stalked toward the stairs. I leaned back against the wall and watched him walk away. I wasn’t ready to move just yet. My body was sizzling from his words and his closeness.
    “I don’t want you under those damn stairs. I hate it. But I can’t move you up here. I’ll never be able to stay away from you. I need you safely tucked away,” he said without looking back at me. His hands gripped the railing on the staircase until his knuckles turned white. He stood there one more minute before shoving himself off and running the rest of the way up the stairs. When I heard a door slam I sunk to the floor.
    “Oh, Rush. How are we going to do this? I need a distraction,” I whispered into the empty foyer. I needed to find someone else to focus on. Someone that wasn’t Rush. Someone that was available. It was the only way I was going to keep from falling too far. Rush was dangerous to my heart. If we were going to be friends then I needed to find someone else to focus my attention on. And fast.

Chapter Ten

    Darla had not been happy about my move to the dining room. She wanted me on the course. She also wanted me overseeing Bethy. According to Bethy she wasn’t seeing Jace anymore. She’d met him for coffee because he’d called her twenty times that afternoon. She told him if she was going to be his dirty little secret then it was over. He’d begged and pleaded but refused to acknowledge her to his circle of friends so she dumped him. I was so proud.
    Tomorrow was my day off and Bethy had already come looking for me to make sure we were still on for the honky-tonk. Of course we were. I needed a man, any man to get my thoughts off Rush.
    I followed around Jimmy around all day. He trained me. He was attractive, tall, charismatic and very gay. The members of the club didn’t know this though. He flirted with the women shamelessly. They ate it up. He would look back at me and wink when