Touched by an Alien

it was dying. But dying and dead weren’t the same thing. I grabbed my other can of aerosol out of my purse and moved in.
    The parasites could move when they had to. This one gave it one last go and lunged toward me, as much as something with no limbs could lunge. But I was ready. This was a hairspray situation, and I was an expert. The parasite took a full blast of Ever-Hold and dissolved.
    “I thought you said the superbeings were invulnerable as long as their parasite was alive,” I mentioned to Martini as I slogged out of the mess.
    “We’ve never tried hairspray, salt baths, rock and roll, or simply ramming them with our cars.”
    “You just lacked vision.”
    “Thanks,” Christopher said. “We’ll be sure to mention it when we’re back.”
    The big plane took off, but the jets weren’t leaving. Some of this was because of Mephistopheles. However, two of the jets were buzzing the Pachyderm. Tim and Reader seemed to be doing all right with their particular superbeings. I dug around in my purse and pulled out the walkie. “Mr. White, please.”
    “Here, Miss Katt. How goes the offensive?”
    “We’re still alive, so very well for the moment. The salt worked; however the jets aren’t leaving as requested. They can’t hurt Mephistopheles, and I have to assume they can’t hurt the Pachyderm either, so they’re causing more havoc than they’re solving.”
    Silence. I watched the Pachyderm buck like a prized rodeo bull. The girls were still on it. Amazing.
    “Miss Katt, apparently the pilots are concerned about leaving two young women on the back of, if I may quote, that butt-ugly bucking bronco. Could I inquire as to Claudia and Lorraine’s whereabouts?”
    “They’re about to win the All-National Rodeo.” It made sense. Pilots have great eyesight, and any normal man would want to save either girl, let alone both of them.
    “I see. Perhaps the pilots have the right idea.”
    “What would that be?”
    “They wish to get our girls off of their ride.”
    Worked for me. “Tell them good luck.”
    “Anything else?”
    “Got a giant mongoose around?”
    Silence.
    “You’re insane, you know that,” Christopher offered.
    “My crazy’s working a lot better than your sanity.”
    “True,” Martini sighed. “True.”
    The walkie buzzed again. “Sadly, no giant anything here or available, Miss Katt.”
    “Could you ask my father what kills snakes besides mongoose and bullets?”
    “I live to serve.” Short silence this time. “Strangulation. Chopping off the head. Crushing the head. And, oh, really? How interesting. Boiling water apparently works as well.”
    “We’re gonna need a bigger plane, Mister White.”
    “We’ll do our best.”
    I heard “Fight for Your Right” again. Tim had the song on continuous loop. That probably wasn’t a good sign. “The faster the better.”
    I dropped the walkie back into my purse. “Okay, until the planes with boiling water somehow manage to appear, we need to try to stomp the Serpent’s head.”
    “With what ?” Christopher asked me.
    I looked over my shoulder. The jet planes had what looked like cables hanging down. I hoped the girls would take the hint. “You boys spent a lot of time running around Mephistopheles at the airport. Why?”
    “We try to herd them away from civilians.”
    “Oh, good. So you’re all trained then.” I gazed at both of them for a moment, the best looking rodeo clowns in the business. “The second the girls are off its back, herd the Pachyderm toward the Serpent. Use whatever you have to in order to keep it bucking and freaking out.”
    Martini stared at me for a moment, then shrugged. “Everything else has worked.”
    “Trust me.”
    He looked away. “Right.” He took off, and I turned to watch him. I also didn’t want Christopher to see that I had something in my eyes.
    Christopher put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
    “It wasn’t all you. I didn’t fight all that hard at the start.” And, I had to ask, if Christopher had gotten to me first, would I still want Martini? I didn’t like the answer I gave myself.
    “Yeah.” He squeezed my shoulder. “He’ll come around, Kitty. I promise.”
    “What says I want him to?”
    He leaned over, kissed my cheek, and wiped away a tear that had somehow gotten free from my eyelashes. “Your face.” Then he was off after Martini. And I was standing there alone figuring I was going to stay that way, no matter what