Trusted Bond

you.‖
    ―But you were fine all that time I was gone.‖
    He laughed loudly and for a long time.
    ―Laurent.‖
    ―I wasn‘t fine! I wasn‘t fine—I was never fine! Jesus, Jin, I hired a
    private detective to find you, but he couldn‘t… you and Crane…. I wanted
    to know everything you did, everywhere you went. I wanted to know, Jin,
    but I didn‘t. I never saw you again.‖
    There was a strange tone to his voice, and the way he repeated my
    name made him sound so lost, so sad, and yet so very angry.
    ―Just thinking about other men touching you and looking at you… I
    hated it! I would‘ve given anything to make it stop. Anything. ‖ His voice
    went up high, cracking, and it was scary the way it came out of the dark
    sounding so menacing. ―I thought if I could just see you and talk to you,
    then I could make you understand.‖
    ―Then let‘s go somewhere and talk.‖
    ―Why are you hurt? Who did you let hurt you?‖
    Strange topic change. ―I was in a fight; I didn‘t let anyone hurt me
    on purpose. You know that‘s not me.‖
    ―Do I? What do I know?‖
    ―Laurent, you—‖
    He grabbed my hair and yanked my head back hard. I tried to
    struggle, but between the lack of food and the dehydration, I was weak.
    And I hurt everywhere. And I was freezing. And I was still healing week-
    old wounds.
    ―Let me go!‖
    ―I don‘t want to be away from you! I never want to be away from
    you! I love you!‖
    ―This isn‘t love.‖
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    Mary Calmes

    He was on me suddenly, pulling at my clothes, his mouth searching
    for mine.
    ―Get off me!‖ I screamed.
    He shoved me down hard, my face smashing against the stone floor.
    ―Laurent, get the fuck off me!‖ I screamed.
    ―I bet I could rape you if I wanted.‖
    I fought as hard as I could as his hands tore at me. Normally I could
    shift and slip right through his fingers, but I was just too weak. I couldn‘t
    change my form.
    ―You‘re burning up, Jin. Your skin‘s so hot.‖
    He yanked my T-shirt up and pulled it roughly over my head. I felt
    his hands sliding over my chest and then digging into skin that until that
    second I hadn‘t known was shredded.
    The howl filled my ears, and it took a moment for me to realize that I
    was listening to my own cry.
    ―It doesn‘t hurt,‖ he snarled at me. ―Nothing hurts you, Jin.‖
    The pain became everything for long moments before subsiding to a
    manageable throbbing burn. I felt his claws sinking into me, registered the
    liquid warmth, and knew I was bleeding. The smell, never to be mistaken
    for anything else, assaulted me.
    ―You‘re bleeding,‖ he said nonchalantly as I got lightheaded.
    His hand was on my throat, the other in my hair as he snapped my
    head back. He found my mouth then and kissed me hard. It hurt. He bit my
    lip, and I tasted blood.
    ―Open your mouth,‖ he demanded, and I felt his claws on my face,
    trying to get me to open my jaws.
    I felt his mouth on my neck, and he bit down hard. I yelled and
    bucked, trying to get him off me, but he wouldn‘t budge. He sank his
    fangs into my shoulder, and I screamed. He bit everywhere he could reach,
    and it was like being knifed over and over. The pain was searing, and I
    yelled myself hoarse.
    ―Goddamnit, Jin,‖ he roared, kneeing me hard between my legs, and
    because of the angle, he hit my groin.
    I curled up into a ball and rolled over on my side. His hands were on
    me a second later, trying to yank down my pants. I started to retch, and he
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    scrambled away from me fast. I got on my hands and knees, trying not to
    vomit. My stomach was twisted into a knot.
    ―So what? Just kissing me makes you sick now?‖
    I couldn‘t stop retching, and I was so dizzy. The room felt like it was
    rocking from side to side. It was like that carnival ride that tips back and
    forth and finally right over before you hold in limbo upside down,
    suspended in midair.
    He kicked me hard in the ribs, and I fell over on my side as I sucked
    in breath.
    ―Fuck you, Jin!‖ he snarled at me, and then he caught me in the face
    with the same foot. I felt like my head blew up, and there was only black
    again.

    I TRIED to move. My left hand wouldn‘t. It felt like it wasn‘t even
    attached to my body. I hoped it still was. I couldn‘t even roll to my side. I
    felt soggy. I went back to sleep.

    I HAD a bad dream, so I got out of bed and walked down the hall to her
    room. I tiptoed over to my grandmother‘s side of the bed. I