Truth

she not thought of this before?
    Reaching for her phone, she scrolled her contacts for Amber’s doctor, one of the most sought after gynecologists in the Silicon Valley. After San Diego, Claire called and made an appointment, hoping to get a prescription for birth control pills. The usual waiting period for new patients was up to six months. Amber’s referral shortened the wait considerably. Claire’s appointment was in another three weeks. However, now things were different, waiting wasn’t an option. Then she realized the day, Sunday, she would have to wait another day to call.
    Tears moistened her cheeks as she placed her head on her knees and gave in to the overwhelming emotion. Before she could make any decisions, or talk to anyone , Claire needed answers. First and foremost, how pregnant was she -- seven weeks or four weeks?
    Finally, she made her way back into her bedroom and into the overpowering aroma of roses; thankfully the flowery aroma was pleasurable -- the three bouquets saturated every molecule of the room. She’d meant to ask Tony if he’d sent the other two bouquets. However, with the talk of the wedding and thoughts of the pregnancy, she forgot.
    Claire went to her laptop and Googled answers. How effective are condoms? The search engine spun -- answers appeared: if used correctly , condoms are 98% effective. With common usage the failure rate grows to between 14 and 15%.
    What do they mean if used correctly ? How many ways are there to use a condom?
     
    Monday morning Claire called the doctor’s office and was relieved to learn of a Wednesday afternoon opening. If it weren’t for her dream , Claire would consider asking Harry to join her. However, despite their reconciliation Sunday morning, there was a change in their relationship. It was her news of the wedding that pushed his limits. Although it wasn’t declared, instinctively, Claire knew it. The stolen glances and casual touches were gone.
    Everything probably happened too fast. Yet, thinking about the possibility they’d used the condoms commonly and not correctly , Claire was thankful they were still comfortable and friendly with one another. Harry appreciated Claire’s bond with Courtney and her desire to attend the ceremony. He couldn’t comprehend the necessity of being in Iowa Thursday through Sunday, and most importantly, why she agreed to stay at Mr. Rawlings’ estate. Claire told him and Amber the truth. She was staying at the estate for one reason -- to see Catherine.
    In many ways, the woman had become Claire’s mother. She was the steady force during a very difficult time in Claire’s life. Catherine’s support and encouragement sustained her. Looking back, there were times Claire wondered if she would’ve survived without Catherine’s care. Amber and Harry still had their mother; they couldn’t understand.
     
    When Wednesday arrived, Claire tried with all of her might to retain the wealth of information. In the beginning, the doctor’s staff asked a lot of questions, and even though she’d done a home pregnancy test, they instructed her to urinate in a cup, to confirm the pregnancy.
    The eerie stillness of the examination room pulled at Claire’s already stretched nerves. She longed for a hand to hold or a voice for comfort. Instead, she waited alone on her roller coaster of emotion for the doctor to confirm the blue plus. Since that moment, three days ago -- every minute, every second, she thought about the pregnancy. While shopping for a dress for Caleb’s wedding, she stood motionless for minutes upon minutes looking at her flat stomach in the dressing room mirror and wondered: How long until it begins to grow?
    The last two nights, during the night, she woke to use the bathroom. Last night she heard her own voice saying, “Hey Little One, I know you don’t mean anything by this, but just remember I like my sleep. Maybe we can work on some compromises.” (Always the master negotiator.) It wasn’t until the words were out of her mouth that she contemplated her discussion. Was she actually talking to the cause of her nausea and increased urination?
    As she sat alone in the silence of the examination room, Claire realized she wanted their test to confirm the one she took at Amber’s condo. She wouldn’t have believed it three days ago, but if they came in the room and told her that she wasn’t pregnant, Claire would be devastated.
    That realization strengthened her. She wanted this baby. Thinking