Up Till Now: The Autobiography

rules of the game: twos, three of a kind, full house, straights, flushes—that I knew, but that isn’t playing poker. The true game of poker is a psychological contest, in which the weapon is bluffing and bidding. It is the delicate art of drawing your opponent into your net, or scaring him out of the game. It is the actor’s game, where the ability to create an image is more important than the cards at play. That was the aspect of this tournament that really intrigued me.
    They gave me a $5,000 stake and three professional poker players spent several hours teaching me how to play competitive poker on television. This event was going to last three days, they explained, and we want you to stay in the game as long as possible. So don’t say very much because you’ll give yourself away, watch the table to see who is bidding what and try to see patterns, and bet conservatively. Always bet conservatively. I repeated their advice; keep my mouth shut, watch who’s betting what, and don’t bet too much on one hand. I have never been a very skilled or lucky gambler. My objective was to last at least one full day; if I was careful, I thought, I might last two days before I was eliminated.
    I began to play at a table of ten people. I did as I had been taught, kept my mouth shut, watched the table, and bet conservatively. I won a pot, maybe two of them. I was beginning to understand that any hand was only as good as the player who drew it. As I settled in there was one player who got my attention, a real loudmouth sitting to my left. What an ass, I thought. He was a fat, ugly, absurd man who obviously wasn’t a very good player because he wasn’t following the rules I’d been taught by my professionals.
    Finally I drew a strong hand, a pair of kings. At first I bet very carefully, reluctantly even, trying to sucker other players into thepot. I was very careful not to bet too much too quickly, but gradually I began raising it. The fat-ass guy keeps seeing me and I realized, I got him. I got him! And I’m holding a pair of kings. He knew it too, he kept sighing and shaking his head and complaining, “Oh yeah, I bet you got me beat. I just know you got something under there.” I knew he was testing me, but I smiled enigmatically and said nothing.
    Finally only the two of us were left and a large pile of chips was sitting in the middle of the table. I stared at the pile. I had a pair of kings. I could double my money in one game, which would certainly be enough to keep me in the game till the second day. I had followed the rules and it had worked out well for me. But this was the time to express my personality, to demonstrate that I could play this game, to be bold. “Okay,” I said, looking right into the eyes of fat ass, “I’m all in.”
    He let out a long, deflated breath, knowing he had no choice. But he was in too deep to fold. He shook his head, then reluctantly pushed all his chips to the center of the table.
    The dealer turned over the last card, which to poker experts like myself is known as the last card. It was an ace. I’ve got a pair of kings, an ace doesn’t do me any good. But I had a pair of kings. It was time to reveal our cards. I had a pair of kings.
    And he had a pair of aces. He’d had nothing until the last card. He’d bet everything on the luck of the draw. That’s why, as I discovered, he was the reigning world champion poker player, the top money winner on the circuit the previous year, and I was the eliminated-inthe-first-hour guy. I couldn’t believe it; I said to my instructors, “I followed all the rules and he didn’t follow any of them. He talked incessantly, he didn’t pay attention to what was going on, and he bet everything on a single card. He played like an idiot, I played like the pro—and I’m the one who’s eliminated in an hour.”
    And so I had demonstrated two of the most important lessons which have made all the difference in my life: you can’t win the jackpot if you’re not in the game. And sometimes you just have to be lucky. Life is chaotic, chance plays a central role in everyone’s life. Nobody knows how any decision you make is going to turn out. My career strategy had become just say yes to almost anything.
    Want to make a record album? Yes. Want to appear on this quiz show? Yes. Want to star in White Comanche ? Okay, sometimes decisions are not going to work out as well as you’d like. But you don’t know when you make that decision. I remember