Volume 01 - Dirty Shorts

could tell he was trying hard not to burst out laughing, probably so he wouldn’t draw more attention than they were already getting. “Who is Lucy?” He asked, before wrapping his lips around a spoonful of his Blizzard, a little bit of ice cream dribbled down from the corner of his mouth.
    Ashley had a hard time focusing as he watched Rick wipe away the drips with his tongue, but he finally managed to say, “Lucy is my left boob, which you’re currently holding hostage. That is why you brought me here, isn’t it? To commence negotiations?”
    “You named your breast pads? Why Lucy?” Rick said, taking a bite of his burger.
    Ashley finished chewing the fry he was enjoying before answering. “Lefty Lucy,” he said, drawing it out so it sounded more like loose-y and following it up with, “Duh.”
    Rick shook his head, laughing quietly before asking, “Do I want to know what you named the right one?”
    Ashley pretended to consider that for a minute, “Probably not.”
    Rick leaned forward, “Tell me anyway.”
    “Righty Tighty, because it is perky and tight, and not much else rhymes with righty that makes any sense.” Ashley thought about what he’d said, “Or as much sense as a man naming his fake breasts can make.”
    “You’re a nut.” Rick said teasingly, taking another big bite of his juicy burger.
    Ashley ripped one of his succulent chicken fingers in half and thought about what Rick said. “I think if I was a nut, I’d be a chest nut.” After a few seconds, he quickly added, “No pun intended.”
    “Because they have a prickly shell you have to break before you can peel back the skin to even get to the edible part?”
    “No, because they taste fu--” Ashley paused and looked around at the other guests, “absolutely delicious.”
    Rick had been displaying a dazzling smile when his expression went blank. “So are you ever not in drag?” He wasn’t condescending or judgmental, or meaning to be cruel. He asked it out of sincere curiosity.
    The question still felt like an accusation and was a shock to Ashley. He didn’t think he could have been more surprised if, out-of-the-blue, Rick reached across the table and bitch slapped him. No longer hungry, yet feeling the need to defend himself, Ashley dropped his fry back in the box and placed his shaking hands in his lap so Rick wouldn’t see them. When they said goodbye Saturday morning, Ashley had pointed out a few of his own flaws, wanting to prevent awkward dating if he wasn’t what Rick was looking for in a boyfriend.
    Now, he was sitting here wondering what he did wrong and knowing Rick was looking at him and expecting a response. Ashley bit his lower lip and tried to buy himself a little time by looking thoughtful. Hopefully, Rick would think he was pondering the question and taking it seriously, which he was. Nevertheless, he also wanted to get up and just leave, telling Rick he was sorry for wasting his time. But Ashley wasn’t the type of person to run away from a situation just because it would be the easier thing to do. He still didn’t know what to say, so he replied with a simple and meek, “I’m not in drag now.”
    “I mean, I doubt you’re a suit and tie at the Dairy Queen kind of guy. So you’re really wearing another kind of costume.” Rick stated without a hint of disdain in his words.
    Ashley gaped at him before lowering his head to stare at the table. So much for trying to show Rick he was taking getting to know each other seriously. He felt like he’d fucked it up royally and didn’t even know how. Or was it because he dressed too serious for Rick to take him seriously, which seriously made no sense to him. This is who he is, and he thought Rick was seeing that. Finding out how wrong he had been made his chest feel restricted, and he had to remind himself to keep breathing.
    He liked Rick, a lot, and wanted to be honest with him. Rick made him feel safe opening up about himself, and if he didn’t do a better job of putting himself out there and letting Rick see the real him, he knew he might not get another chance. He just hoped he hadn’t already blown this one. “You said you wanted to get to know each other, and I want that too. I wanted to show you I was taking this seriously and wanted to impress you. That’s why I dressed seriously impressive.” Ashley met Rick’s eyes, “That doesn’t mean this isn’t the real me. Yeah, I wear a lot of outfits, but underneath, they’re all a part of me.