Walking Disaster

just want to be like this.”
    “Did I miss something?”
    “I didn’t mean to wake you up. Why don’t you just go back to sleep?”
    Abby leaned back against the pillow, pulling up my chin to face her.
    “What in the hell is wrong with you?” she asked, her body suddenly tense.
    “Just go back to sleep, Pigeon. Please?”
    “Did something happen? Is it America?” With the last question, she sat up.
    I sat up with her, wiping my eyes.
    “No . . . America’s fine. They got home around four this morning. They’re still in bed. It’s early, let’s just go back to sleep.”
    Her eyes bounced around to different points of my room as she remembered the night before. Knowing any moment she would recall the fact that I’d dragged her out of the party and made a
spectacle, I put both hands on each side of her face and kissed her one last time.
    “Have you slept?” she asked, wrapping her arms around my middle.
    “I . . . couldn’t. I didn’t wanna . . .”
    She kissed my forehead. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it, okay? Why don’t you get some sleep? We’ll figure it out when you wake up.”
    That was not what I expected. My head popped up and I scanned her face. “What do you mean? That
we’ll
get through it?”
    Her eyebrows pulled in. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m here.”
    “You’re here? As in you’re staying? With me?”
    Her expression scattered in different directions. “Yes. I thought we discussed this last night?”
    “We did.” I probably looked like a total tool, but I nodded emphatically.
    Abby’s eyes narrowed. “You thought I was going to wake up pissed at you, didn’t you? You thought I was going to leave?”
    “That
is
what you’re famous for.”
    “Is that what you’re so upset about? You stayed up all night worrying about what would happen when I woke up?”
    I shifted. “I didn’t mean for last night to happen like that. I was a little drunk, and I followed you around the party like some fucking stalker, and then I dragged you out of
there, against your will . . . and then we . . .” I shook my head, disgusted with myself.
    “Had the best sex of my life?” Abby said, smiling and squeezing my hand.
    I laughed once, astounded at how well the conversation was going. “So we’re okay?”
    Abby held my face and kissed me tenderly. “Yes, dummy. I promised, didn’t I? I told you everything you wanted to hear, we’re back together, and you’re still not
happy?”
    My breath faltered, and I choked back tears. It still didn’t seem real.
    “Travis, stop. I love you,” she said, using her thin fingers to smooth lines around my eyes. “This absurd standoff could have been over at Thanksgiving, but . . .”
    “Wait . . . what?” I interrupted, leaning back.
    “I was fully prepared to give in on Thanksgiving, but you said you were done trying to make me happy, and I was too proud to tell you that I wanted you back.”
    “Are you fucking kidding me? I was just trying to make it easier on you! Do you know how
miserable
I’ve been?”
    Abby frowned. “You looked just fine after break.”
    “That was for you! I was afraid I’d lose you if I didn’t pretend to be okay with being friends. I could have been with you this whole time? What the
fuck,
Pigeon?”
    “I . . . I’m sorry.”
    “You’re
sorry
? I damn near drank myself to death, I could barely get out of bed, I shattered my phone into a million pieces on New Year’s Eve to keep from calling you
. . . and you’re
sorry
?”
    Abby bit her bottom lip and nodded, ashamed. “I’m so . . .
so
sorry.”
    “You’re forgiven,” I said without hesitation. “Don’t ever do it again.”
    “I won’t. I promise.”
    I shook my head, grinning like an idiot. “I fucking love you.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Panic
    L IFE HAD RETURNED TO NORMAL—MAYBE MORE FOR Abby than for me. On the surface we were happy, but I could feel a wall of
caution building around me. Not a second with Abby was taken for granted. If I looked over at her and wanted to touch her, I did. If she wasn’t at the apartment and I missed her, I went to
Morgan. If we were at the apartment, she was in my arms.
    Returning to school as a couple for the first time since the fall had the expected effect. As we walked around together, holding hands, laughing, and occasionally kissing—okay, more than
occasionally—the gossip spiked to an all-time high. As always at this school, whispers and tabloid-worthy stories