Where Nerves End

raw lust, was inside me, holding on to me, fucking me, whispering and cursing, and I wasnt about to encourage this to be over a second sooner than it had to be.
“Oh my God,” he moaned. “Oh God, Im gonna come…” His fingers dug in, but not enough to stop me from rocking harder against him, which only made my own orgasm that much more inevitable, and I stroked my cock faster and swore and trembled and finally released a helpless groan as I lost it, and seconds later, Michael forced himself as deep inside me as he could, shuddered, and came.
And everything stopped. My heart pounded, my arms shook, but otherwise, we were still. The room was silent except for both of us trying to catch our breath and, after a moment, the whisper of Michaels hands sliding up and down my back, drawing lazy, gentle lines along either side of my spine.
“I thought you said—” I paused, licking my lips. “I thought you said you didnt have much experience.”
“I didnt say I was inexperienced with sex.” He leaned over me, his sweat-dampened chest warming my back. When he kissed my shoulder, I turned my head and he found my lips with his. “I said I didnt have a lot of experience with men .”
“You say that,” I murmured. “Your cock-sucking skills say differently.”
He laughed and kissed my shoulder again.
After hed pulled out, we both stood on shaking legs, and once wed cleaned up, sank back into bed together.
He closed his eyes, brushing a few droplets of sweat off his temple.
“So the other night,” I said. “That really was your first time with a man? Ever?”
Michael nodded slowly, and I thought his cheeks might have darkened.
“Mind if I ask why?”
“Why it took me so long to sleep with a man?” He turned toward me. “Or what made me do it now?”
“Both, I guess.”
Michael chewed his lip. After a long moment, he said, “This sounds incredibly stupid, but…hear me out.”
I said nothing, just nodded.
“Ive known for a long, long time I was attracted to men, but I didnt want to be, especially after spending so much time and energy convincing people I wasnt. Its only the last couple of years Ive started to accept it. And it wasnt…” He took a deep breath. “It wasnt until recently that Ive worked up the nerve to sleep with one.”
“So why now?”
His voice was soft now,bordering on inaudible. “I wanted to know for sure if I liked being with a man. I didnt want to…” He paused, his eyes losing focus for a second. He swallowed as he lifted his gaze to meet mine. “I needed to try it with someone else first.”
“First?” I swallowed. “Before…what?”
He met my eyes. “Before this.”
My heart jumped.
Michael moistened his lips, and his cheeks really did color this time. He rolled on to his back and looked up at the ceiling. “I was attracted to you from the start, and Id been telling myself over and over there were all these reasons we couldnt do this. But then after you came home that one morning, and I had a feeling youd been…” He shivered. “I dont know, my imagination got the best of me, and I just couldnt get you out of my mind. And it occurred to me, Id never actually been with a man. Even though Ive known for a long, long time that Im interested in men, how did I know I really liked sleeping with one?” His Adams apple jumped. “I didnt want to sleep with you, find out I really didn’t like it, and then have things be awkward between us. Since we have to, you know, live together.”
“So you gave it a try with someone else first?”
Without looking at me, he nodded.
“Thats…” I shifted on to my side and propped myself up on my arm. “I think I can understand that.”
“Really?” He finally turned toward me. “It sounded kind of ridiculous to me. In hindsight anyway.”
“No, it actually makes perfect sense. If you werent sure, hell, why not?” I put a hand on his chest, idly running my fingertips through the thin, dark hair. “Im guessing you liked it? With him?”
He laughed softly. “Yeah. I just didnt tell him I was thinking about you the entire time.”
My fingers stopped. “You were?”
“You were the whole reason I went looking for him in the first place.” His hand rested over the top of mine. “Of course I was thinking about you.”
I swallowed hard. “I hope…the real thing wasnt a disappointment, then.”
Michael smiled. Reaching for my face, he lifted his head off the pillow and moved in to kiss me. Just before our lips met, he whispered,