White Tiger

him down. His face went very intense as he dropped it to mine.
    Yes!
    A swift expression of pain swept across his features. ‘I’m sorry, Emma,’ he said urgently as he jerked himself away, ‘that would be a very bad idea.’
    ‘No,’ I said, trying to wrap around him again, ‘don’t stop now.’
    He shook my hands free and backed up. ‘It really can’t happen, Emma.’ His voice became more brisk. ‘You’ll need to move back and give me some room so that I can transform.’
    ‘Why not? What’s the big problem?’ I tried to move closer to him, but he backed away even more. I nearly had him pinned against the wall. It was like there was a bubble around me.
    He raised his hands defensively. ‘Trust me, Emma, it would be a very bad idea. I don’t want to hurt you.’
    ‘How could you hurt me?’
    ‘Believe me,’ he said, and the pain showed again in his face, ‘it can’t happen. I have my reasons. We should be nothing more than friends.’ He turned away.
    ‘If you’re worried about protecting me, you don’t need to be,’ I said fiercely. ‘I’m not frightened of the demons, and besides, it would be worth it. We couldstill be employer-employee when we’re out. Nobody would have to know. If they didn’t know, they wouldn’t have a reason to come after me.’ He didn’t say anything.
    ‘I know you feel the same way! Don’t throw it away! Even if it is only a short time, even if it’s only at home. I don’t need more than that.’ I sagged, desperate. ‘Don’t try to protect me. I don’t need protecting. What I need…’
    He didn’t look at me. He stood facing away from me, head bowed.
    ‘What I need is you .’
    He flinched as if I’d hit him.
    ‘It could be wonderful, John. Even for a short time.’ My voice broke and I tried to control it. ‘I know you want it too.’
    ‘It can’t happen, Emma,’ he said softly without turning towards me. ‘Go to Simone.’
    I hesitated. I could see his miserable face in the mirror. His eyes were full of pain.
    ‘I’m not finished with you!’ I shouted, then turned and stormed out.
    I ran all the way around the Peak trail by myself. I was gone for nearly an hour. It wasn’t mentioned when I returned. Mr Chen insisted on behaving as if nothing had happened at all. I had no choice: I had to respect his wishes.
    What I really wanted to do, though, was kill something.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
    I sighed as I went through my email. Leo had subscribed me to a number of alternative lifestyle lists. It took me nearly twenty minutes to unsubscribe from most of them, but Leo was an active participant on some and they seemed worthwhile.
    My phone rang and I picked it up. ‘Hello?’ ‘Emma.’
    ‘April! Where are you? Are you in Hong Kong?’
    ‘Yes, I came back to visit Andy. Lunch tomorrow? I’m meeting Louise. Want to come?’
    ‘Sure. How about the little Japanese place under the hotel in Causeway Bay?’
    ‘I don’t know it.’
    ‘Meet me outside the World Trade Centre, I’ll take you there. The teppanyaki’s good.’
    I met Louise and April outside the World Trade Centre and led them past the entrance to the hotel. Early December weather could be very pleasant, and today was particularly good: the fresh breeze blew across the harbour and the sky was clear blue for a change.
    The Noonday Gun sounded across the road; all of us ignored it.
    We turned right after the hotel and walked down a filthy alley lined with garbage bins.
    ‘Where the hell are you taking us?’ Louise said. She picked her way through the puddles of water. ‘It’d better not be a dai pai dong, I get sick every time I eat at one of them.’
    ‘You do?’ April said. ‘I don’t. I missed them. No dai pai dong in Australia.’
    ‘Spoilt Westerner,’ I said. ‘Delicate digestion.’ I stopped at the end of the alley. ‘Here.’
    A tiny Japanese garden nestled under the towering wall of the hotel. I walked along the waist-high bamboo fence to the gate and showed them in. To the right a small fountain splashed into a pool of golden koi carp. A tiny lawn stretched the length of the restaurant, bordered by stands of bamboo.
    April was delighted. ‘This is so cute! I never knew it was here!’
    I opened the door for them and we went in. The restaurant had about twenty booths under the large picture windows overlooking the Japanese garden. At the end of the restaurant the large steel plates of the teppan sat on the marble benchtop.
    We sat together at the teppan.