Who Do You Think You Are

was in love, and perhaps also because he was a male, doomed to push and blunder. Even from up here he looked stubborn and pitiable, determined and dependent, sitting out there in the cold.
    “Guarding the door,” Dr. Henshawe said. “Oh, Rose!”
    Another time she said disturbingly, “Oh, dear, I’m afraid he is after the wrong girl.”
    Rose didn’t like her saying that. She didn’t like her laughing at Patrick. She didn’t like Patrick sitting out on the steps that way, either. He was asking to be laughed at. He was the most vulnerable person Rose had ever known, he made himself so, didn’t know anything about protecting himself. But he was also full of cruel judgments, he was full of conceit.
    “Y OU ARE A SCHOLAR , Rose,” Dr. Henshawe would say. “This will interest you.” Then she would read aloud something from the paper, or, more likely, something from Canadian Forum or The Atlantic Monthly . Dr. Henshawe had at one time headed the city’s school board, she was a founding member of the C.C.F. She still sat on committees, wrote letters to the paper, reviewed books. Her father and mother had been medical missionaries; she had been born in China. Her house was small and perfect. Polished floors, glowing rugs, Chinese vases, bowls and landscapes, black carved screens. Much that Rose could not appreciate, at the time. She could not really distinguish between the little jade animals on Dr. Henshawe’s mantelpiece, and the ornaments displayed in the jewelry store window, in Hanratty, though she could now distinguish between either of these and the things Flo bought from the five-and-ten.
    She could not really decide how much she liked being at Dr. Henshawe’s. At times she felt discouraged, sitting in the dining room with a linen napkin on her knee, eating from fine white plates on blue placemats. For one thing, there was never enough to eat, and she had taken to buying doughnuts and chocolate bars and hiding them in her room. The canary swung on its perch in the dining room window and Dr. Henshawe directed conversation. She talked about politics, about writers. She mentioned Frank Scott and Dorothy Livesay. She said Rose must read them. Rose must read this, she must read that. Rose became sullenly determined not to. She was reading Thomas Mann. She was reading Tolstoy.
    Before she came to Dr. Henshawe’s, Rose had never heard of the working class. She took the designation home.
    “This would have to be the last part of town where they put the sewers,” Flo said.
    “Of course,” Rose said coolly. “This is the working-class part of town.”
    “ Working class?” said Flo. “Not if the ones around here can help it.” Dr. Henshawe’s house had done one thing. It had destroyed the naturalness, the taken-for-granted background, of home. To go back there was to go quite literally into a crude light. Flo had put fluorescent lights in the store and the kitchen. There was also, in a corner of the kitchen, a floor lamp Flo had won at Bingo; its shade was permanently wrapped in wide strips of cellophane. What Dr. Henshawe’s house and Flo’s house did best, in Rose’s opinion, was discredit each other. In Dr. Henshawe’s charming rooms there was always for Rose the raw knowledge of home, an indigestible lump, and at home, now, her sense of order and modulation elsewhere exposed such embarrassing sad poverty, in people who never thought themselves poor. Poverty was not just wretchedness, as Dr. Henshawe seemed to think, it was not just deprivation. It meant having those ugly tube lights and being proud of them. It meant continual talk of money and malicious talk about new things people had bought and whether they were paid for. It meant pride and jealousy flaring over something like the new pair of plastic curtains, imitating lace, that Flo had bought for the front window. That as well as hanging your clothes on nails behind the door and being able to hear every sound from the bathroom. It meant decorating your walls with a number of admonitions, pious and cheerful and mildly bawdy.
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
BELIEVE IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST
AND THOU SHALL BE SAVED
    Why did Flo have those, when she wasn’t even religious? They were what people had, common as calendars.
THIS IS MY KITCHEN AND I WILL DO
AS I DARNED PLEASE
MORE THAN TWO PERSONS TO A BED
IS DANGER0US AND UNLAWFUL
    Billy Pope had brought that one. What would Patrick have to say about them? What would someone who was offended by a