A Malazan Book of the Fallen Collection 4
estate
guards. The Mistress will be arriving today, in fact, from
the out-country. Proper presentation is desired.' The
castellan paused and then leaned forward from the waist
and Leff saw the red glint of unhuman eyes in the holes of
the mask. 'You, what is your name?'
'Leff Bahan, sir, is my name.'
'You have been eating raw lake conch?'
'What? Er, not recently.'
A wrapped finger darted upward and wagged slowly back
and forth. 'Risky. Please, open your mouth and stick out
your tongue.'
'What? Er, like this?'
'That is fine, very fine, yes. So.' The castellan leaned
back. 'Greva worms. You are infected. Pustules on your
tongue. Dripping sinuses, yes? Itchy eyelids – the eggs do
that, and when they hatch, why, the worms will crawl out
from the corners of your eyes. Raw lake conch, tsk tsk.'
Leff clawed at his face. 'Gods, I need a healer! I gotta
go—'
'No need. I will happily see your ailment treated – you
must be presentable to the Mistress, yes, each standing at
attention on either side of the gate. Well attired, hale of
complexion and parasite-free. A small barracks is being
readied. It will be necessary to hire at least three more to
complete the requirements – do you have reliable friends
capable of such work?'
'Er,' said Scorch when it was obvious that Leff had
momentarily lost his facility for speech, 'we might. I could
go and see . . .'
'Excellent, and your name is?'
'Scorch. Er, we got references—'
'No need. I am confident in my ability to judge
character, and I have concluded that you two, while not
to be considered vast of intellect, are nevertheless inclined
to loyalty. This here will mark an advancement in your
careers, I am sure, and so you will be diligent as befits your
secret suspicion that you have exceeded your competence.
All this is well. Also, I am pleased to note that you do not
possess any parasites of a debilitating, unsightly sort. So,
Scorch, go yonder and find us one, two or three additional
guards. In the meantime, I will attend to Leff Bahan.'
'Right. Yes sir, I will do just that!'
The foreman was standing nearby, smirking. Neither
Scorch nor a stunned Leff noticed this detail, and yes, they
should have.
'A woman needs her secrets,' said Tiserra, lifting up an
eggshell-thin porcelain cup and holding it in front of the
bright sunlight. 'This one is good, darling. No flaws.' And
the hag in the stall grinned, head bobbing.
Torvald Nom nodded happily, then licked his lips. 'Isn't
this fun?' he said. 'Fine crockery to go into our new kitchen
and the fancy oven on its four legs and all. Real drapes.
Plush furniture, colourful rugs. We can get the storage shed
rebuilt, too. Bigger, solid—'
Tiserra set the cup down and moved directly in front of
him. 'Husband.'
'Yes?'
'You're trying too hard.'
'I am? Well, it's like a dream, you see, being able to
come back home. Do all these things for you, for us. It still
doesn't feel real.'
'Oh, that's not the problem,' she said. 'You are already
getting bored, Torvald Nom. You need more than just
tagging along at my side. And the coin won't last for ever
– Beru knows I don't make enough for the both of us.'
'You're saying I need to get a job.'
'I will tell you a secret – just one, and keep in mind what
I said earlier: we women have many secrets. I'm feeling
generous today, so listen well. A woman is well pleased
with a mate. He is her island, if you will, solid, secure. But
sometimes she likes to swim offshore, out a way, floating
facing the sun if you will. And she might even dive from
sight, down to collect pretty shells and the like. And when
she's done, why, she'll swim back to the island. The point
is, husband, she doesn't want her mate's company when
swimming. She needs only to know the island waits there.'
Torvald blinked, then frowned. 'You're telling me to get
lost.'
'Leave me my traipsing through the market, darling. No
doubt you have manly tasks to pursue, perhaps at a nearby
tavern. I'll see you at home this evening.'
'If that's how you want it, then of course I will leave you
to it, sweetness – and yes, I could do with a wander. A man
has secrets, too!'
'Indeed.' And she smiled. 'Provided they're not the kind
that, if I find out, I will have to hunt you down and kill
you.'
He blanched. 'No, of course not! Nothing like that!'
'Good. See you later, then.'
And, being a brave man, a contented man (more or less),
Torvald Nom happily fled his wife, as brave, contented
men are wont to do the world over.
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