After the Fall

dwindling fast, and if he got away this time, he was leaving in a cloud of dust I’d never track down.
    I closed my eyes and sighed. Time for the Hail Mary. The cards I was most terrified of playing, the ones that could either make this work or make it even more painful when he turned me away. Forcing myself to meet his eyes again, I said, “You want to know why this scares the shit out of me?”
    “Okay . . .”
    I swallowed. “My last two relationships ended badly. And they hurt. Bad enough I swore off anything but casual dating for the foreseeable future.” I barely kept myself from wincing at the twin memories.
    “And you think I’d do that to you?”
    Shaking my head, I said, “It’s not that I thought you would do what they did that scared me away. It’s the fact that . . .” I hesitated, then cleared my throat. “It’s the fact that I’m more in love with you than I ever was with either of them.”
    Ryan jumped like I’d slapped him. “You . . .”
    “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I walked away. You’re the last person in this world I’d want to hurt, and I’m . . . I’m sorry.” I couldn’t keep holding his gaze and barely pushed my voice above a whisper as I added, “I love you, Ryan.”
    His lips parted.
    I dropped my gaze. “I was too scared to admit it to myself, and couldn’t admit it to you either. I don’t want you to stay if you’re not happy here with me or with Tucker Springs or both, but if you’re going to leave because of me, then . . . well, I can’t stop you. I won’t hold you back or tie you down. I just needed you to know why I did what I did, and how I felt. Feel.”
    He inched a little closer. “You wouldn’t be holding me back.” He reached up and touched my face, sending a shiver down my spine. “Being with you means I don’t have a reason to leave.”
    My heart melted. I met his gaze, certain he was about to take that back and decide the road was more appealing after all. But as his hand slid from my face into my hair, he leaned closer to me, and I leaned closer to him, and his kiss was . . . a relief. A breath I’d held too damned long and finally released. I wrapped my arms around him, and he held me against him, every touch of his hand and gentle movement of his lips backing up what he’d said.
    The world outside crept back into existence, though, and with it, reality. Plans for the future, directions our lives would or wouldn’t go.
    I broke the kiss and met his eyes.
    “What about Arizona?” I swallowed. “The job . . . this winter . . .”
    “It’s not written in blood.” He stroked my cheek. “My uncle will understand if I decide I want to stay.”
    “And you do want to stay?”
    A smile slowly formed on his lips as he ran the pad of his thumb back and forth across my cheekbone. “Isn’t it obvious?”
    I laughed nervously. “Can you break it down for me? Tell me like I’m stupid?”
    The smile turned into a grin. Ryan pulled me to him and kissed me.
    After a moment, he said, “It’s kind of funny. I always saw Tucker Springs as just another stop on the road. I’d spend a few months or maybe a year or two here, and then I’d move on.” He took my hand in both of his. “But ever since I met you, I’ve had this feeling that if I ever left this place, sooner or later, I’d find my way back.”
    “I’d be perfectly happy if you never left.”
    Ryan smiled again. “I’m thinking I could be too.”
    I reached up and cradled his neck in both hands, and when he leaned down again, I pressed my lips to his. The familiar brush of his goatee against my face settled something inside me, as if I’d needed that last little bit of reassurance that I hadn’t just imagined all of this.
    The kiss deepened. Ryan’s hand slid around the back of my neck, and his grasp tightened as his kiss became more insistent and demanding. Without a crutch or a cast to impede us, we held each other tight, separated only by clothes and body heat.
    “I need to take a shower,” he said after a while. “Do you want to join me?”
    Relief mingled with arousal. “Yes. I definitely do.”

We’d never been closer to each other. Naked, no clothing or plaster or icy distance keeping us apart. Hot water ran over us, but not between us, and for the first time, I touched him—his face, his chest, his amazing ass—with both hands instead of just one.
    His kiss was hungry and demanding this time, the closest it had ever come to forceful, his fingers