Again (Brandy Jeffus)

road with that loser rocker. His Bonnie would never be okay with constant travel, and no place to call home. The old Bonnie liked stability and consistency. The Bonnie who took off with some guy she hardly knew wasn’t the Bonnie he grew up with. Eli often thought that maybe that part of her was gone, killed off by Eli’s betrayal. Was he responsible for killing her in a sense?
    Another part of him wished that when he went home, Bonnie would be waiting at the airport gate, ready to welcome him with open arms and take him back. He wanted to hold her slim, petite body in his arms. He wanted to feel her, smell her and kiss her. Everything about her he had taken for granted. He wanted her back so bad.
    The days were long and hard. Eli kept to himself mainly because he didn’t care about getting to know anyone that might end up dead after all this. He didn’t do death well, losing Bonnie was like death and it still haunted him.
    He thought of her all the time. He would be in the middle of cleaning his weapon, roll call or physical training and a memory would come flooding back out of nowhere. They hurt so badly sometimes, making his heart literally ache. He would curl his hands into fist and bite his lip to keep from crying.
    Eventually, he did develop a brotherly comrade with the rest of the guys stationed with him. These were good guys mostly, a couple of bad seeds mixed in, but good nonetheless. Eli put his heart and soul into his work, rather it be helping clean up or standing guard at night. He found that if he put just the right amount of concentration he could go hours without thinking about Bonnie.
    One day, while the desert air threatened to suffocate him and the rest of his troop, he received a surprise letter from Tatum. He recognized her small, neat handwriting before he looked at the return address. He went inside his barracks to read it:
    Dear Eli, I pray for you every day while you are overseas. What do you do over there? Is it really hot? Have you been in any battles?
    I really don't know why I'm writing you this letter. I know you're not my friend anymore because of you and Bonnie. But I miss you and I think I'll always think of you as an older brother. It's lonely here with just my mom. My dad married some chick that I barely know. And we hardly hear from Bonnie. I miss her so much. I miss you too.
    I pray all the time for things to go back to the way they were. I miss those times. Even though you and Bonnie were obsessed with each other and kissed way too much in front of me. I still miss being a part of that family.
    But now you're gone and Bonnie's gone. And I just have my lousy friends.
    This letter has turned kind of depressing, huh? Sorry about that. I know you are busy with really important Marine stuff so I'll let you go. My mom said to tell you that if you need anything let us know and we'll send you a care package. TTYL -- Tatum
    Eli smiled. Tatum was always so random. He missed the little girl that he had known for forever. She had been as much part of his life as Bonnie had been. Bonnie never excluded Tatum and was always a great big sister. The chain reaction that had taken place after his betrayal had involved more than just him and Bonnie.
    He decided right then and there to keep his bond with Tatum alive. He wouldn’t disappoint her; she needed a brotherly figure in her life.
    He rummaged through his chest and got a pen and paper and proceeded to write her back.
    Chapter Eight
    The next few days are one big blur. I spend most of my time parked on the couch in front of the TV. Mick's arrest made national entertainment news and he checked himself into a rehab after posting bond.
    Our breakup is being blamed as the cause of Mick's downward spiral. Even though I know the truth it still hurts being blamed by the media. They don’t know a damn thing, yet their opinions are broadcast as facts.
    I haven't heard from Eli at all. I texted him late that first night and never got a response. I’ve driven myself crazy with worry, guilt, regret and pain. What is wrong with me? All I’ve ever wanted was to be Eli’s again.
    "Well looks like Eli Stone is done with me," I mutter as Mama walks into the kitchen. It’s been four days. Four miserable days.
    She looks over at me and shakes her head, "If love was easy, Bonnie, your dad and I would still be together. Love is hard and sometimes you lose at it. But if you want to win, child, you never give up."
    She hugs me tight. I know she’s right,