Baby Be Mine

Not something that I’m happy about.’
    ‘Jeez Louise, are you ready to be flung into the spotlight like that?’
    ‘What do you think? Don’t you remember that time Johnny took me to the Ivy when I was just his PA and the paps thought I could be “somebody”? I looked like a rabbit in the headlights!’ I shudder at the memory. ‘No, I am definitely not ready to be flung into the spotlight.’
    When I get home, Johnny has already gone out. I put Barney to bed and go downstairs. Lena doesn’t work on Saturdays unless there’s an emergency, so I’m on my own. I wander into the kitchen and aimlessly look in cupboards, even though I’m not hungry, before making myself a tea and heading to the office. I stand inside the door. It really doesn’t look any different to how it was years ago; there are even a couple of sacks of fan mail propped up against the wall. I never managed to make a dent in them. More letters would always replace the ones I’d dealt with. It’s actually insane that Johnny doesn’t have a fan club. Maybe he thinks that’s a bit too ‘pop’ for him. I might try to convince him otherwise, because I’m sure Lena has enough on her plate without replying to his often demented fans.
    I have a weird urge to tackle some fan mail now. I know Lena wouldn’t mind. If anything she’ll be grateful – I would be. I put down my tea on the spare desk and try not to remember how Christian once sat there working on his Johnny Jefferson biography. I dig into the nearest sack and pull out a handful of letters.
    I work quickly and quietly and find it’s soothing being back in this frame of mind. I locate standard fan-mail responses on the server and adapt them appropriately, then print them out, attach a signed photograph and stuff everything into addressed envelopes. The time flies and I don’t even notice Johnny at the door until he clears his throat.
    ‘Hello, there!’ I say. ‘What are you doing home so early?’
    ‘Couldn’t be arsed,’ he replies with a shrug and I remember he always did have the attention span of a gnat.
    ‘Is Dana with you?’
    ‘No, she wanted to stick around.’
    I stifle a sigh of relief. I haven’t enjoyed my encounters with her these last few days. Luckily she hasn’t been here too much.
    ‘What are you up to?’ Johnny asks, standing by my desk.
    ‘Sorting through fan mail, would you believe?’
    ‘Are you billing me for this work?’
    ‘Consider it a freebie.’
    I may have been irritated initially about Johnny’s credit-card comment, but, in all seriousness, I do want to earn my keep. I’m not, and have never been, a freeloader. I didn’t like relying on Christian to bring in the dough once we had Barney, but it was preferable to paying someone else to look after him while I went out to work. In any case, what was I going to do? I dallied with waitressing for a while when I returned to the UK, but, in truth, I was a good PA. Organisation has always been my forte. I just couldn’t bear the thought of running anyone else’s life for them after I left LA.
    Johnny pulls up a chair and sits down next to me, just as he used to. I lean back in my chair and put my arms on the armrests.
    ‘It’s weird seeing you here,’ he says.
    ‘It’s a bit strange being back,’ I admit. ‘But everything’s different now. It’s the way it should be.’
    ‘Definitely different,’ he agrees, looking away and raising his eyebrows. I don’t know what he means by that so I move on.
    ‘I sat in on those interviews with Lena yesterday.’
    ‘For the cook?’
    ‘Yeah.’
    ‘Opinion?’
    ‘Honestly? I liked Eddie.’
    ‘The guy?’ He sounds surprised.
    ‘Yeah.’
    ‘What was he like?’
    ‘Very grounded, young and upcoming. He can turn his hand to different styles, but it’s all good home-cooking, not too wanky.’
    ‘Wanky?’ He looks amused.
    ‘Not wanky, I said.’
    He laughs. ‘What did he look like?’
    ‘I should have known that would be your next question.’
    ‘And?’
    ‘He was alright.’ I play it down, because, actually, he was pretty damn fine.
    ‘I want to meet him before he starts.’ Shame. ‘Not that I don’t trust you,’ he adds. ‘On hiring a cook, at least.’
    I purse my lips at him and he gives me a slightly defiant look. ‘That was a bit below the belt,’ I say, because I’m sad to have lost his trust, even if I deserve it. ‘I won’t lie to you again,’ I add seriously.
    He leans forward in his chair. ‘You