Bullheaded

actually have a brace I can use from last time. I brought all of them, just in case.”
    “And that’ll keep it from hurting?”
    “The brace will remind me to take it easy on that side. Nothing will keep it from hurting.”
    Johnny took in a deep breath. “Well. What a bummer. I’ve got to tell Vern about this.”
    “He’ll turn me in! You can’t!”
    “He won’t turn you in. He’ll think you’re crazy, but he already knows that. You’re a bull rider.”
    Cody slapped the bed impatiently. “So what difference does it make?”
    “When a rider is injured, we play it differently,” Johnny explained. “Depending on how you dismount, you might not be able to get up so fast. The bullfighters need to be prepared to handle it. I can’t let one of them get hurt because you’re riding injured.”
    Furious, Cody glared at him. “You’re my boyfriend. You should be on my side. If the doctors find out, they could stop me from riding! Nothing is going to get in my way this year!” He groaned as he moved his leg.
    Johnny jumped up and strode to the door between their rooms, but then he stopped. Deliberately, he turned around and came back. “Listen, Cody, if you want to take the risk, then that’s your business. When you put other people in danger, that’s a whole other thing and I’m not going to go along with it just because I love you. I can’t let Vern or Reese or Chris get hurt because of your decision. You’ve got to see that.”
    Cody felt his nostrils flare even as he realized Johnny was right. “You’re right!” he shouted, and then he groaned. “I’d feel like crap if I knew someone got hurt because of me.”
    “Fuck, it’s not like you’re the first rider ever to ride hurt and refuse treatment. Hell, Vern’s probably scoped it out already. He’s seen so many guys get hurt, he’s like a mobile MRI.”
    “Sorry. Guess I panicked. It’s just—”
    “Just what?”
    “This could be my last year. It could be my only chance to win back-to-back championships. No one’s ever done it before and that was my goal for this year.”
    “Why didn’t you tell me?”
    Johnny sat down again and Cody reached for his hand.
    “I didn’t want to jinx my chances.”
    Both men laughed.
    “Yeah, I know. I almost jinxed myself right out of the finals with my buckoff streak. I do fine screwing myself up. I don’t need more help from the doctors and the bulls.”
    “Why say it could be your last year?”
    “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice that.” Cody bit his lip. “Everyone’s on me about retiring.” He stopped, unable to speak around the lump that suddenly jammed in his throat, fearing Johnny would also take their side.
    He watched as some emotion he couldn’t identify flashed over Johnny’s face.
    “I’ve been watching Chris Bellow since he came back,” Johnny said softly.
    “He doesn’t like you,” Cody said suddenly. “I saw him looking at you once.”
    Johnny shook his head. “It’s not personal. It’s not about me. He announced he’s retiring but he doesn’t really want to. He feels like he’s being forced out. He loves bullfighting about as much as you love riding. It’s going to be a huge loss.”
    Suddenly Cody was panting, trying to keep the tears stinging his eyes from flowing down his cheeks. “Huge loss,” he croaked. “Like I’m losing my life.”
    “Yeah, I can see I’ll probably feel the same as you when it comes my turn,” Johnny said soberly. “But you won’t lose your life. When you’re on the back of a bull and it feels like you’re going to fall off, you do something different. You’re always changing it up. Just like life.”
    “Maybe,” Cody managed. “Maybe.”
    “Once you’re a bull rider you’re in for life. You may not ride anymore, but you’ve stomped your footprints all over the record books. You’ve got more ninety-plus point rides than the four riders right behind you added together. It’ll be some time before anyone matches that.”
    “I guess that’s true.” Cody felt a little better.
    “The NBR isn’t ready for you to walk away. You’ll contract your bulls, train new riders, tell tall tales about the one that got away, get inducted into the Ring of Honor, and become a judge before you know it. You’ll see. People will be talking about I knew him when.”
    Cody managed to smile. “Sounds great the way you tell it.”
    “I’ll order something to eat and get some more ice,” Johnny said. “You’ll feel better