Bullheaded

it my fault? You’re the one on top of the bull.”
    “If you hadn’t left, I would have been able to concentrate. If you’d just come back, I could go back to winning!”
    “And that’s all that counts with you—winning.”
    “Have you been hooking up?” Cody felt like a hypocrite. After all, he’d been hooking up, but it was different. It had been killing him thinking about other men’s hands on his lover’s body. He had to know, even though it was a hell of a time to ask and a hell of a way to do it. “So now I’m not good enough?”
    “You don’t get to ask me that.” Johnny was staring at him. “We aren’t together. It’s none of your business what I do, so just fuck off!”
    Cody lunged for one of his boots and threw it at the wall, relishing the sound of the smash. Probably everyone on the floor heard it. “You fuck off, you cocksucker!”
    Loud pounding on the wall shocked him back to a sense of where they were. “Would you two freaks shut the hell up? If you keep yelling, I’m calling the manager!”
    The door slammed shut.
    Johnny was gone.
    Cody was too angry to go after him. Too proud. Dammit! Johnny was just a bullfighter. Cody had the important job, a chance to make real money. He threw the other boot at the door and the adrenaline died away and with it his anger, leaving him feeling hopeless.
    “ Shut up! ”
    “All right, sorry!” Cody managed to yell back.
    He sat on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers through his hair, groaning with misery. Karma was a bitch. That’s what came of trying to be so careful, and Cody couldn’t figure out how he’d managed to offend Johnny again. What the fuck was wrong with him?
    After swallowing his pride and saying he was sorry, this is what he got in return.
    But then Cody had to be honest with himself. He sucked at saying he was sorry. Even with his emotions reeling, he was going to beg for Johnny to come back, crawl, anything to get him back. One night with Johnny in his arms wasn’t enough; Cody needed it for the rest of his life.
    He’d fucked up. Again. And Johnny was gone. Again.

Chapter 15:
Riding Out the Slump

    J OHNNY was steaming as he jogged toward the motel where he and Vern were staying and where he was supposed to be. He was always afraid he might be caught coming in late and Vern would give him another talking to, or even fire him. Bullfighting was all he had right now that made him feel like a man.
    Of course, Cody was right about one thing. Johnny was running away. He had to find a way to deal with this thing by himself. He couldn’t tell Cody what was wrong, because all Cody would do was take over and try to fix things by telling him what to do, if he listened in the first place.
    Whenever he was with Cody, it was as if his bones melted, his brains slid out his bootheels, and he let Cody take over. The passion between them unlocked such sexual heat that the embers glowed for days. All he could think about was sex, and that’s what had gotten them into the fix they were in. If he and Cody were ever going to have a chance, Johnny would have to learn how to stand up to him.
    Glancing at his watch, he realized he’d made it back to the motel in record time. It was still before first light, and with luck Vern would never realize he hadn’t been there all night. He let himself into the room and started when the phone rang. Could it be Cody? But no, Cody didn’t know where he was staying.
    He answered the phone cautiously. “Yeah?”
    “Good morning, Johnny. Had breakfast yet?”
    Was he about to be fired? Usually Vern called him kid. Johnny tensed up. “Morning, Vern. Nope. You?”
    “No. What do you say we go out and grab something to eat?”
    “Okay, I’ll be right out.” Johnny hung up and went into the bathroom to splash water on his face. When he stepped outside, Vern was waiting for him.
    “There’s a good place down this way. My treat.”
    Sure now that something was wrong, Johnny managed to answer. “It’s okay, I can pay my way.”
    Vern gave him a sharp look as they started walking. “Might as well get this over with.”
    Johnny tensed up but kept his eyes straight forward.
    “Chris Bellow wants to come back.” Vern let out a sigh now that the worst was over. “He healed up quicker than the doctors thought he would. This is his last rodeo, so to speak. He wants one last run before he retires after Vegas. I’m going to ask you as a favor to me to stand down and let him take his final bow.