Bullheaded

together, moving as one with a kind of public intimacy even strangers could share, mirroring the private intimacy of making love. When the song ended, Johnny could thank him as if he were a stranger and return to his table. They could eye each other across the room and part, having shared a moment of magic.
    But Cody hoped this would not be how the evening would end. He was afraid to speak, afraid he might fuck it up again. He could feel Johnny was enjoying this as much as he was. He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against Johnny’s and enjoyed the way their bodies touched as they swayed.
    When the music ended, Cody stared into Johnny’s eyes, seeing acquiescence in the soft black depths. “Come to the hotel with me?”
    A quick nod. “All right.”
    They got their hats and left the bar. The air was cool at the summer’s end. They didn’t touch as they walked. Cody didn’t turn his head to look at Johnny, feeling shy and somehow awkward, as though he’d never met this man beside him. He tried to match his steps to Johnny’s, but those long legs strode forward with a confidence he seemed to have lost. He missed their lovemaking desperately, but he wasn’t going to rush it. Tonight he would let Johnny take the lead and hope for the best.
    When they reached the hotel, he opened the door for Johnny. When the elevator door slid shut behind them, he punched the button for the ninth floor. Then Johnny turned to him and pressed him back against the wall. His face was so close; Cody hoped Johnny would kiss him.
    When Johnny’s lips covered his, Cody closed his eyes, his hands pressed flat against the mirrored wall as if it could hold him up. He surrendered to Johnny’s tongue licking at his lips, opened his mouth to welcome Johnny’s tongue inside. Their tongues touched delicately and darted between their parted lips. He could feel the confidence in Johnny’s kisses, and it thrilled him as they made out until a soft chime announced they had reached his floor.
    Johnny smiled and pushed himself away. He walked out as if his muscles were solid and he wasn’t gasping for air. Cody was dizzy and breathless and all they’d done was kiss. He felt dazed, as if his senses were so overloaded with the taste and touch of Johnny he couldn’t take in anything else.
    He realized Johnny didn’t know which room was his. His mind in a fog, his cock hard and bulging in his jeans, Cody walked to his room and fumbled with the key card.
    Once inside, Cody dropped his jacket on the floor. He pressed against Johnny and walked him backward to the bed so they could fall down as one. Cody climbed on top to straddle Johnny and bent his head to kiss the enticing lips he’d missed.
    The feeling of Johnny arching up under him, their lips meeting, tongues tangling, made him happy and triumphant. Cody felt blindly for Johnny’s hands and twined their fingers as they kissed, moving them to pin them by his head. He wondered why he’d never spent more time kissing Johnny. He was always chasing the future, the next ride, the next buckle, the next orgasm. Having what he’d been missing made him regret he’d never savored the taste of Johnny’s kisses, the masculine clean scent of him, the solid feel of his body beneath his own.
    It was unbearably romantic and yet also unbearably arousing. His cock strained in his jeans, the creases cutting into his flesh almost painfully. Their kisses grew desperate and hungry. Whenever his tongue entered Johnny’s mouth, Cody grunted with arousal, but some spirit of caution kept him from making any other move, even keeping his hips still.
    Finally Johnny rolled him onto his back. They continued kissing and trading positions, sometimes Cody pressing Johnny down with his weight, sometimes Johnny riding on top. They pressed their bodies tightly together, as tight as possible with all their clothes on.
    Cody reached for Johnny’s fly.
    “Not tonight,” Johnny said breathlessly. “Not the first time.”
    Cody was disappointed, and yet somehow the refusal made it even better. There was a promise implicit in Johnny’s words that there would be another time.
    Cody pinned Johnny to the mattress and mouthed the hard length of him through his jeans. Johnny’s hips were bucking and he pressed his bulge hard against Cody’s lips, as if searching for a relief he had denied them both.
    His hand rubbed the front of Cody’s jeans, outlining the aching shaft. “You’re so big,” he whispered.
    Cody’s