Cheaper by the Dozen

chairman. I assume there are no objections. The chair, hearing no objections, will..."
    "Mr. Chairman," Anne interrupted. Being in high school, the knew something of parliamentary procedure, and thought it might be a good idea to have the chairman represent the common people.
    "Out of order," said Dad. "Very much out of order when the chair has the floor."
    "But you said you heard no objections, and I want to object."
    "Out of order means sit down, and you're out of order,"
    Dad shouted. He took a swallow of ice water, and resumed his speech. "The first job of the Council is to apportion necessary work in the house and yard. Does the chair hear any suggestions?"
    There were no suggestions. Dad forced a smile and attempted to radiate good humor.
    "Come, come, fellow members of the Council," he said. "This is a democracy. Everybody has an equal voice. How do you want to divide the work?"
    No one wanted to divide the work or otherwise be associated with it in any way, shape, or form. No one said anything.
    "In a democracy everybody speaks," said Dad, "so, by jingo, start speaking." The Good Humor Man was gone now. "Jack, I recognize you. What do you think about dividing the work? I warn you, you'd better think something."
    "I think," Jack said slowly, "that Mrs. Cunningham and Tom should do the work. They get paid for it."
    "Sit down," Dad hollered. "You are no longer recognized." Jack sat down amid general approval, except that of Dad and Mother.
    "Hush, Jackie," Mother whispered. "They may hear you and leave. It's so hard to get servants when there are so many children in the house."
    "I wish they would leave," said Jack. "They're too bossy." Dan was next recognized by the chair.
    "I think Tom and Mrs. Cunningham have enough to do," he said, as Dad and Mother beamed and nodded agreement "I think we should hire more people to work for us."
    "Out of order," Dad shouted. "Sit down and be quiet!" Dad saw things weren't going right. Mother was the psychologist. Let her work them out.
    "Your chairman recognizes the assistant chairman," he said, nodding to Mother to let her know he had just conferred that title upon her person.
    "We could hire additional help," Mother said, "and that might be the answer."
    We grinned and nudged each other.
    "But," she continued, "that would mean cutting the budget somewhere else. If we cut out all desserts and allowances, we could afford a maid. And if we cut out moving pictures, ice cream sodas, and new clothes for a whole year, we could afford a gardener, too."
    "Do I hear a motion to that effect?" Dad beamed. "Does anybody want to stop allowances?"
    No one did. After some prodding by Dad, the motion on allotting work finally was introduced and passed. The boys would cut the grass and rake the leaves. The girls would sweep, dust and do the supper dishes. Everyone except Dad would make his own bed and keep his room neat. When it came to apportioning work on an aptitude basis, the small girls were assigned to dust the legs and lower shelves of furniture; the older girls to dust table tops and upper shelves. The older boys would push the lawnmowers and carry leaves. The younger ones would do the raking and weeding.

    The next Sunday, when Dad convened the second meeting of the Council, we sat self-consciously around the table, biding our time. The chairman knew something was in the air, and it tickled him. He had trouble keeping a straight face when he called for new business.
    Martha, who had been carefully coached in private caucus, arose.
    "It has come to the attention of the membership," she beg 111 , "that the assistant chairman intends to buy a new rug for the dining room. Since the entire membership will be required to look upon, and sit in chairs resting upon, the rug, I move that the Council be consulted before any rug is purchased."
    "Second the motion," said Anne.
    Dad didn't know what to make of this one. "Any discussion?" he asked, in a move designed to kill time while he planned his counter attack.
    "Mr. Chairman," said Lillian. "We have to sweep it. We should be able to choose it."
    "We want one with flowers on it," Martha put in. "When you have flowers, the crumbs don't show so easily, and you save motions by not having to sweep so often."
    "We want to know what sort of a rug the assistant chairman intends to buy," said Ernestine.
    "We want to make sure the budget can afford it," Fred announced.
    "I recognize the assistant chairman," said Dad. "This whole Council business was