Deaths Excellent Vacation

temptation to rip and devour could take over, the guy fainted. And peed himself.
    That’s how Dave found us a few minutes later. Well, I’d switched back to Salty the Sea Dog, to keep from freaking out anybody else, but the saboteur was still unconscious. Dave took in enough of the situation to throw the guy over his shoulder without stopping to ask questions. I trotted along beside him until we got to his office.
    Dave said, “Do you want to Change to human?”
    I cleared my doggie throat and made a show of looking around. Though I was certainly considering the idea of being naked around Dave in the near future, it wasn’t the time.
    “Oh, sorry.” He rummaged in a drawer and found an Adventure Cove T-shirt big enough to cover the basics and turned his back while I Changed and pulled it on.
    “You stopped the fireworks in time?” I said, once I could.
    “Barely. The pyrotechnician said he would have gotten to the shell that would have burned down the park in another four minutes.”
    “Wow.”
    “I take it this is the saboteur.”
    “He smells like gunpowder, was standing in the crow’s nest watching the show, and started to leave after the second burst didn’t go off. And he’s dressed like a ninja. So I’m thinking yes.”
    “Shall we see who or what it is?” He grabbed the mask and pulled it down from the guy’s face. “Son of a whore!”
    “Do you know him?”
    “Don’t you?”
    I looked more closely but shook my head.
    Dave reached for a cheap felt tricorner hat and put it on the guy, and then I recognized him.
    “Oh my God, it’s Pirate Dave!”
    My Pirate Dave made a sound that was suspiciously close to one of my growls.
    “I mean, he’s the fake Pirate Dave.” The first time I’d seen this guy, he’d been dressed in full Captain Jack Sparrow regalia, greeting guests as they came into the park.
    The ninja started to stir and opened his eyes. “Where am I?” he croaked.
    Instead of answering, Dave fixed him with his gaze, and the hair on my arms stood up as the vampire spoke. “Why have you been ruining my park?”
    It was like he’d flipped a switch, and the ninja—whose real name was Randy—let it all come out. “It’s your fault! If you’d let me take the night shift once in a while, I wouldn’t have done anything!” He saw me watching. “Great, another one of your Sea Queens. How many do you need, dude? Couldn’t you share? If you’d let me throw the effing doubloon once in a while, I could have gotten a piece of that.”
    “As if!” I sniffed.
    Randy went on. “How long does a guy have to work here to get a shot at the Sea Queens? Ever since high school, I’ve worked my ass off all summer long. When I hit college, I could have gotten a nice cushy internship, but no, I came back here to play Pirate Dave. Only you wouldn’t let me take the night shift, not once. For three summers, I’ve been sweating buckets in that damned wig while you swoop in as soon as it cools off and make off with the Sea Queens. Next year I graduate and get a real job, so this was my last chance. All I wanted was for you to switch shifts with me for one lousy season! But you wouldn’t even discuss it! Why wouldn’t you let me have a shot?”
    Of course, it was obvious why once you knew Dave was a vampire, but just as obviously, Randy didn’t know.
    “I thought if there were problems in the park, you’d be too busy to dress up every night, and you’d have to give me a shot.” He went on to describe how his years in the park had taught him the best ways to cause trouble and how to dodge the security guards. “But no matter what I did, you had to keep the spotlight to yourself. The park was going to close, and you didn’t care. Even when those kids got hurt, you still had to be in the parade!”
    I couldn’t stop myself from blurting, “You jerk, you’re the one who hurt those kids, not—”
    Dave held up a hand to stop me and said, “Go on, Randy.”
    “So if I couldn’t be Pirate Dave, then I was going to fix it so you couldn’t either. I’m a chemistry major—fucking up the fireworks was easy.”
    He actually smirked, and it was all I could do to keep from Changing back to a wolf and scaring it off of him. Dave had more control and got the rest of the details, including the fact that the ninja mask was just a black Captain Jack T-shirt turned inside out and tied around his head.
    I think Dave really wanted to find something supernatural in the whole sordid mess. No