Existence 01 - Existence

seemed to thin out as I reached his end of the lockers. Once I broke through the last group of students standing between us, I noticed Kendra leaning against his locker, smiling up at him. I thought about turning around, not wanting to hand this to him in front of her when I remembered he went to Speech first period. I slowed down and stopped behind him. As I reached to tap him on the shoulder, Kendra reached up and ran her fingers through Leif’s hair. It was sickening to watch. He was such a good guy and she was pure evil.
    “You sure coming over last night wasn’t a big deal? I would hate to mess things up with you and your girlfriend,” she cooed.
    “You know she isn’t my girlfriend, Kendra. Stop calling her that. You’ll start talk.” His voice sounded annoyed. Was the idea that someone might think he liked me so repulsive to him? A sick knot formed in my stomach and I started to turn and leave before he noticed me.
    “You spend a lot of time at her house and she is always looking at you.”
    “She’s my tutor and no, she isn’t looking at me. You’re just being paranoid when you have no reason to be.”
    I clinched my empty hand into a fist thinking about all the times he had fooled me into thinking he was a nice guy. He was just as mean and calculating as Kendra. Was he even adopted or had that been a big elaborate lie to get me to feel sorry for him? I’d actually convinced my stupid self that Leif might be potential relationship material. The next time he came to my lunch table and asked if I was going to go to his game, I had intended to say yes and see if it led to where Wyatt had seemed to think it was leading.
    “You sure she knows she isn’t your girlfriend because it looks like she is stalking you?” Kendra purred. I turned back around hating the heat I felt in my cheeks. My face was probably bright red.
    “Oh, uh, Pagan. I was going to come find you and explain about last night.” I nodded, not wanting to discuss this after all I’d heard, and handed him the paper. “Thought you might need this.”
    He stared down at the paper in my hand before reaching out and taking it. I turned to walk away. “Wait, I was going to call you last night. I just got tied up. Thanks,” he said holding up the paper.
    Kendra slipped an arm inside his and smiled sweetly up at him. “That’s not true, Leif, I never tied you up.” She then directed her gaze at me and gave me a smile of triumph. While I’d sat up late finishing his speech, he’d been with Kendra. How stupid could I be? I’d wasted my time writing a speech for someone who I’d thought needed my help, all this time thinking he was a good guy I could, possibly, really like. Maybe I hadn’t judged him so unfairly before. Maybe Leif Montgomery fit the description I’d placed on him all these years. It hurt to find out the guy I’d built him up to be was an illusion. That I’d made an idiot of myself by staying up and writing the paper for him. It made me look like one his love-struck groupies.
    I managed to get my locker open and find the books I needed for first class through my haze of anger. I stopped, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I’d just learned a lesson and I didn’t need to forget it. Two tears squeezed through and I quickly wiped them away before closing my locker door. Now he had me crying. Perfect.
    “Pagan.”
    Crap! He’d come after me. I couldn’t let him see me crying. Humiliation wouldn’t be a strong enough word for what I’d feel if Leif knew I’d shed a tear over this. I forced a nonchalant expression on my face and turned around. “Yes?”
    He appeared upset. I wished I could convince myself of his sincerity. “Look, about last night, I am really sorry. I hadn’t expected you to finish the speech for me. I messed up and I was going to take the bad grade. I should’ve called, but—”
    I shook my head to stop him. “It’s not a big deal. However, from now on would you please let me know in advance when you won’t be able to make it to the appointed time for your session? Now, if you’ll excuse me.” I stepped around him and started for class.
    “Pagan, wait, please.”
    I stopped and considered telling him to go to Hell but decided against it before turning back to face him. “What?”
    “I was coming over and Kendra called.”
    I shook my head. “I don’t care. Just call next time, please.” I turned and headed toward my class but when I reached it, I didn’t stop walking.