Faded (Rock Star Trilogy)

“Sorry,” I say, and then turn to Ethan. “You are seriously awesome.”
    And just like that, my morning is turned around. I can almost forget about the camera pointing straight at me. ALMOST . I love having great friends.
    “So how was your weekend in Paris?” Ethan whispers.
    “It was... the hardest thing I've ever had to do.”
    Ethan looks at me sympathetically. “You know, my mom wasn't that great of a mom either, so I know how you feel.”
    “Where is your mom?” I wonder. I haven't asked before, but I haven't ever seen her around. I always just think of Stephan's mom as his mom.
    “She died.” I can hear the sadness in his voice. “She purposefully overdosed on drugs.”
    “Oh my God,” I shake my head sadly. “Ethan, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.”
    My mind goes back to when we were studying in his room... The joke I made about “killing myself” over math... No wonder he got so upset. I am an awful friend.
    “She was selfish, but whatever. She was a terrible mom anyway.” I can tell he’s trying to act tough, but it has obviously affected him more than he lets on.
    “How long ago was it?” I ask.
    “It was ten years ago,” he explains. “She was depressed. I can't remember her ever being truly happy. She spent her last year alive in a psychiatric hospital. She pretended to take her pills and saved them for two months. One night, she took all of them at once. They found her dead the next morning.”
    My chest hurt for him.
    “She didn't even say goodbye.” His voice is almost bitter. “I guess we all have pretty screwed up parents.”
    I nod in agreement. “At least you have a good dad.”
    He shrugs. “My dad isn't really around much. I think he blames me for my mom. But Stephan's mom isn't so bad. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a mom. I’m thankful for her and Stephan. I feel like I have a real family with them.”
    “Why would your dad blame you for your mom's mental illness?” I shake my head. “I'm sure he doesn't.”
    Ethan doesn't look convinced. “My mom wasn't sick until after she had me. She had like... postpartum depression or something, and it just never went away.”
    “Still, it's not your fault. I'm sure he knows that.”
    He just shrugs, and I wonder if he really does think it's his fault.
    Poor Ethan.
     
    12:01 PM
    Five minutes of fame
     
    At lunch, Ethan goes to sit with Mona and all her friends, and I sit with Stephan. Stephan doesn't really have a lot of friends at this school... Well, neither do I for that matter. I haven't really tried that hard, though.
    “So where do all of your racing friends live?” I ask Stephan.
    “Mostly on the east side of town,” he answers. “So they don't go to school here.”
    “It must suck to go to a different school than them.”
    “Not really. Everybody here hates me. If they went here, they wouldn't be an exception,” he says easily. “I don't mind anyway. High school will soon be a distant memory. Friends that I had here won't matter anymore.”
    Somebody takes a seat beside me. “Hey, Scarlett.”
    I look over to see Mona.
    “Are you kidding me?” Stephan gets up and storms away. One of the cameras follows him, and the other three are on Mona and me.
    “What do you want?” I ask flatly. I am so sick of dealing with her and her drama. I can only imagine how bad it’s been for Stephan.
    She flashes me a smile, and I realize why she's here. She's here for the camera . “I just wanted to say hi. We've missed you.”
    I roll my eyes. “I highly doubt that.”
    “Oh, come on, Scarlett.” She reaches out and touches my arm like we're good friends. “Just because Stephan and I don't get along doesn't mean that you and I can't be friends.”
    “Actually, that is exactly what it means,” I counter. “Are you forgetting the fact that you've made high school hell for him?”
    “High school is hell for everybody.” She waves me off.
    I can't deny what she's saying, because it's true. Why I wanted to put myself through this torture, I will never remember. But now that I'm here, I can't give up. No matter how badly I want to.
    “Look, I get that you want your five minutes of fame, or whatever, but we are never going to be friends. EVER . Not unless you can somehow fix this stupid hate relationship you have with Stephan.” I too get up from the table and am about to storm off dramatically. (Because, let's face it, I'm DRAMATIC ). But Mona stops me.
    “Wait,” she says.
    I think about