Faded (Rock Star Trilogy)

to pay. I’ve been in the spotlight since I was fifteen, so I’ve kind of gotten used to it. In LA it’s not so bad. People there are used to seeing celebrities around.”
    “So why put yourself through the torture of being here?” he asks.
    “I thought I could have a normal life for a little while. I wanted a break. I see now that it isn’t possible, but now, I’m staying to finish high school, and of course, I’m staying for Stephan.”
    “She hasn’t been at school for a whole day in over a month,” Stephan informs Dwayne.
    “I’ve tried. I swear. It’s just hard to film a documentary, record an album, and go to high school, all the while trying to maintain a relationship with my boyfriend, my friends, and my sisters. And I haven’t seen Stacy in forever. I need to go see her and my niece. I’m the worst aunt ever.”
    “I wouldn’t worry so much about your grades,” Stephan tells me. “Ethan went to get your homework, and all of your teachers said that it was already taken care of .”
    I shake my head. “See, I’m not even learning anything.”
    This is not at all what I pictured in my head. The harder I strive to have a normal life, the faster the spotlight chases me… first with the documentary, and now the new album. Well, the new album is not a “definite” deal. If Barry hates it, then it’s obviously a no-go.
    “Damn,” Dwayne comments, shaking his head. “I wish my teachers in high school would have been that chill with me.”
    “Stephan, you ready to race?” Another boy calls to him.
    “Yeah,” he turns to me. “Want to ride?”
    “Definitely.”
     
    11:02 PM
    Frequently right.
     
    My favorite thing about Stephan, besides his extremely sexy green eyes and his panty-melting smile, is his passion and dedication. Whenever Stephan loves something, he gives himself to it 100% no matter what the consequences.
    He loves racing, and at first I thought it was stupid. He’s gambling, not only with money, but his life too. All it would take is one wrong move while driving, or leaving the races one second later and getting caught by a cop. But I get it now . Life is about taking chances. It’s about taking risks, no matter what the stakes. When I die I want to be able to say that I lived life to the fullest. I want to have no regrets. Because if you play it safe your whole life, are you really living ?
    I love how in these two months, Stephan has completely changed me and my way of thinking. I feel like I am not the same girl I was, and I do take more chances. I finally stood up to my mom and dad. I faced my fear of letting people in, and I came back to Hope. I didn’t take the easy way out , and I’m glad I didn’t.
    “What are you thinking so hard about?” Stephan asks me as we drive home.
    “I’m just hoping that Barry likes my music,” I tell him. “And what if he does like it? And then I release it, and everybody else hates it?”
    “If they hate it, then they’re stupid, because you’re amazing. Don’t ever doubt yourself, Scar.” Stephan’s smile is reassuring. “And if you do fail, then I guess you finally get your shot at a normal life . It’s really not so bad either way, right?”
    I nod. “You are right.”
    “I frequently am.”

 
     
    Tuesday, October 28
    6:56 AM
    My life is officially pathetic.
     
    On Tuesday morning when I wake up I feel excited. Today is my “normal day”. (Aside from the fact that there are cameras following me around everywhere I go). There aren’t going to be any trips to the studio for the next 24 hours, and I can actually go to school the whole day.
    Wow. I’m excited about going to school. My life is officially pathetic .
    The weather in Florida has finally started getting cooler, but it’s still warm, especially considering it’ll be November soon. But it is officially hoodie weather, which happens to be my favorite time of the year.
    When I walk downstairs Alec, Bridgett, Stephan, and Ethan are all sitting at my kitchen table. I grab a cup of coffee and join them. All four of them look up at me as I sit down, so I know something is up. Peter has a camera right on my face as well.
    “What’s wrong?” I ask.
    Alec clears his throat. “It’s your parents…”
    “What about them?”
    “They’re getting divorced,” Alec answers.
    I think for a few seconds before responding. I knew this day was coming for a while, but it still hurts to hear it. The little kid in me was hoping they would somehow work it