Fear of Falling

gay and tried to buy her off to keep her hidden. Her father was a US senator and an unrelenting conservative. Having a homosexual rocker for a daughter just didn’t fit his agenda. So, she had been sent away with a trust fund and a condo as long as she kept hidden from the media. She wasn’t allowed to visit for holidays or special celebrations. Birthday gifts were sent in the form of a wire transfer. It was as if she didn’t even exist in their lives anymore.
    “I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling like a jackass. I really was. I was carrying on like someone had died because I was too stubborn to face my fears.
    “Just try. Please. Do it for me. And for Dom. And for you—do it because you deserve it. You do, Kam. You deserve to be loved. Out of the three of us, you have the best chance.”
    “Ok,” I choked out between silent sobs. “Ok, I’ll try. But you deserve it too, Angel. There’s someone out there for you. You are loved. Do you hear me? You. Are. Loved.”
    We held each other for a few more minutes, trying to stifle the surge of emotion threatening to drown us. When Angel finally pulled away, she gave me a pensive smile. “Dom is meeting us at the bar in an hour. You’re coming too, no exceptions. This is your chance. Don’t let it get away.”
    I nodded, though a big part of me desperately wanted to get out of going. I couldn’t do that to her. She needed hope. She needed to believe that there was still beauty in a world so full of ugliness. And if I needed to be the sacrificial lamb to restore that hope, then I would gladly take one for the team.
    I put myself together as best as I could, considering my face was still a bit splotchy, and my eyes were a little red. I even slipped on a sundress and espadrilles, hoping it would give me a boost of confidence. No such luck. I still was terrified to walk into Dive after what went down Sunday. Everyone had seen me lose my shit. They knew something was terribly wrong with me. They would look at me with pity. They’d whisper. They’d see me for what I was.
    Angel grasped my hand as we approached the entrance, and gave it a squeeze. “If anyone says anything, I’ll kick them in the nuts.”
    I tried to twist my frown into grin. “And what if it’s a girl?”
    “I’ll cunt punt the bitch,” she deadpanned.
    A real, genuine chuckle broke through my lips as I let her lead me inside. I loved the awesomeness that was Angel Cassidy. And one day, someone else would too.
    My eyes zeroed in on the bar, only to be met with a pang of disappointment. Trisha smiled at us as we approached, already preparing Angel’s signature tequila shot and light beer.
    “Hey, Kam. What brings you in tonight? I thought you were off?”
    My gaze ghosted in the direction of the back office. “Oh, um, just hanging out,” I stammered, swinging my attention back to her. “And I need to speak with Blaine. Is he here?”
    “He was, but I think he went home. Everything ok?”
    I knew she was just being friendly, but I couldn’t help but grow annoyed at her question. It was none of her business, and I was just sick of people asking me that.
    “Yeah. Everything’s fine. Can I get a Coke, please?”
    Minutes later, the A.D. girls filtered in, securing a booth tucked away in a corner. Dom arrived shortly after them, still dressed for his day job at a local center for at-risk teens. After everything he had been through, Dom had still found the courage to help others in need. Sometimes his job put him face to face with his demons, yet he fought through them in order to help others. His strength and selflessness knew no bounds, and I was proud to be his friend.
    “I need a drink,” he stated sliding in next to me.
    “Rough day?”
    Dom shrugged before signaling for Lidia. “No rougher than usual. Just so sick and tired of kids getting bullied. It’s seriously getting out of hand. A kid came in, 15 years old and gay. The guys at have been really laying into him, and he’s reported them several times with no results. One of his tormentors—you know the type, asshole jock with something to prove—corners him and tries to force himself on the poor kid. He said that if he told, no one would believe him because the little prick has a girlfriend. Anyway, the kid got away with a busted up eye and a bloody lip. I called the police and had him report it. Hopefully it helps to stop these little shits from torturing him, but we know how it goes…”
    Dom’s eyes grew dark and