Fear of Frying

as I hate to say it, we must have been wrong. Look at them. Just look! Sam is alive and well and looking like he might just seduce his wife right here in the midst of the cornflakes.“
    “Sure. And what we saw was an amazing configuration of wet leaves that happened to look precisely like a dead Sam Claypool with his head bashed in,“ Jane said. “Uh-huh. Sort of like those people who can see the face of the Virgin Mary on a pepperoni pizza.”

Twelve
    Benson entered the dining room and called for everyone’s attention. He said he was going to pass out a list of sample classes that the group could attend or learn about. He introduced the instructors individually, and the crowd that had slowly gathered in the lobby and dining room, as local people who had been invited to participate.
    Jane and Shelley glanced down the list: Leatherwork, quilting, fishing, boating, local history, local flora and fauna, bird-watching, aerobic exercise, swimming, language lessons—the list went on forever.
    “The school board and city council are welcome, of course, to delete any of these they don’t want and add their own instructors and subjects,“ Benson said. “This is just an example. Not all of these classes will actually be held today. The asterisked ones indicate literature only, which is being put out on a table in the lobby. There are sign-up sheets out there, too. It would help the instructors to know approximately how many people to expect.”
    Jane glanced at the schedule. There was nothing in the first two-hour slot that interested her. “I think I’ll see if Allison is free to gossip about computer stuff,“ she told Shelley.
    “You aren’t dying to know about You and the Mammals?“
    “Mammals, schmammals,“ Jane said breezily. “But I do want to go on the bird-watching hike if it doesn’t start raining again. It looks like it will.“
    “Well, I’m going to the leatherwork class,“ Shelley said.
    “Sounds kinky to me.“
    “It probably won’t be, but one can always hope,“ Shelley said.
    They went to sign up and unfortunately got behind Sam and Marge. Sam had his right arm around his wife and didn’t let go even to sign up for the classes he wanted. They were so absorbed in each other that they didn’t even notice that the women behind them were the ones who had announced his death. Jane noticed Sam was signing both of them up for several classes.
    The first class wasn’t to begin for fifteen minutes, so Jane and Shelley went back for another cup of coffee. Shelley looked thoughtful. “Jane, this must be costing Benson a considerable amount, bringing in all these people.“
    “Aren’t most of them local?“
    “Probably,“ Shelley said, “but he’s still got to at least feed them and probably put a couple of them up for the night. He couldn’t ask them to do this and then charge them for food and lodging. He’s really going all out to impress us. It was very smart of him to invite the local people. It makes us seem less isolated. He’s created a feeling for what this place is like when it’s busy and full of people having a good time. Very clever.“
    “Shelley, what do you think of this summer camp thing?”
    Shelley thought for a moment. “I’m not sure. I thought it was a great idea at first, but as irritating and belligerent as Liz is, she has a point. Parents or organizations should pay for summer camp unless it’s primarily educational. Why should taxpayers fund it? If we were here on behalf of an inner-city school where the kids have little opportunity to really get a big dose of nature, I’d probably favor it. I guess it does come down to a question of exactly what does constitute education?”
    Jane nodded. “I don’t think anyone has a good fix on that anyway—despite Liz’s views. We’ll never go back to straight reading, writing, and arithmetic. And we probably shouldn’t. I know my kids have benefited personally from some school activities that weren’t strictly academic.”
    She spotted Benson nearby and interrupted herself. “Benson, Allison and I have a date to talk computers. I haven’t seen her around. Next time you run into her, would you ask what would be a good time?“
    “She told me. She’s excited about talking to you. My mother and I aren’t much into cyber-stuff, as she calls it. I’ll check with her right now.“ He was back in a minute, to invite Jane upstairs to their private quarters.
    “I’m off to do leatherwork,“ Shelley said.