Find You in the Dark

Please.” He begged, unbuttoning my pants and pulling down the zipper, his fingers slipping underneath the edge of my panties, finding me wet and ready. “Clay.” I groaned as his fingers slipped inside me, a tantalizing tease. I frantically unzipped his jeans, rolling them down so that it released him. Clay sucked in a breath and shoved my pants down my hips.
    He was being rough and desperate. Not at all like the gentle love making we had before. His lips were hot and pressed hard against my neck as I shrugged out of my pants. The chill around us made goosebumps break out over my bare legs.
    But I didn't think anymore about that as Clay lifted me up and shoved my underwear aside, settling me down on top him, plunging deep into my body. I gasped at the suddenness of it. “More. I need more of you.” Clay pleaded as he jerked his hips upwards, while pulling me down against him as he held my hips tightly. His fingers dug into my flesh as he moved me up and down over him, piercing me deeply.
    “Oh my God!” I groaned as I wrapped my legs tighter, pushing us as close together as we could go. Clay pulled me hard against him, his lips leaving wet trails along my neck and shoulders. He bit down on my skin as I ground against him, the feel of him deep inside me causing the familiar burn build up in my belly.
    “Don't leave me! Ever!” He rasped in my ear, sucking the lobe as we rocked into each other with a frantic pace that both scared and thrilled me. My knees slammed into the metal of the bench and I barely registered the pain as I fell apart around him. After a few more minutes of punishing thrusts, I felt Clay release inside me.
    It was at that moment that I realized what we had done. I couldn't believe I had let us have sex in a park. In the middle of town. Without a condom. That was up there with one of the most stupid and risky things I had ever done.
    I collapsed against Clay and he held me tightly, running his fingers through my hair as we tried to get control over our breathing again. We were still connected, neither of us making the effort to move. Even though my body was exhausted, my mind was reeling. I quickly did the math in my head and relaxed when I realized the unprotected sex shouldn't be an issue.
    The cold wind finally broke through the post coital haze and I moved off of Clay's lap, feeling his wetness between my legs. I scooped up my discarded pants and hastily put them back on. “Well, that was a first.” I joked, still a little out of breath. Clay smirked at me as he buttoned himself back up. He pulled me back onto his lap. “I just needed to be close to you. Sorry the setting wasn't more romantic.” Clay apologized, kissing my temple as I snuggled into his chest.
    I sighed and laid my head down over his heart. The steady beat both calmed and soothed me. Clay rubbed my back and traced the length of my shoulder blades with his fingertip. “You're all that I have.” He said quietly, kissing the top of my head. I let him hold me and tried to convince myself that everything would be all right. But I knew I was just living another lie.

Chapter Twenty-Three

    Funny how two days can change everything. Even my staunch refusal to let anything come between me and the boy I loved. My picture of the world had flipped on its head and I lived in a constant state of confusion and near panic.
    We laid low, paranoid someone would figure out we were the teenagers on the lam from Virginia. The machine that was Clay's parents was clearly in overdrive. We were watching a local news station one evening and suddenly saw Clay's face on the screen.
    “What the...?” Clay bit out, turning up the volume. Clay and I watched transfixed as the news anchor told the story of a mentally unstable young man who had kidnapped his girlfriend and gone on the run. Clay was described as dangerous and people were asked to notify authorities immediately if he was seen. Then they showed a picture of me and I thought I was going to throw up.
    We had gone to bed that night curled around each other. We didn't say anything, no words were needed. Clay hung onto to me as though I would disappear. We made love frantically and desperately as if we were trying to hold onto something that would be snatched from our grasp at any moment. But I couldn't pretend that things were going to work out any longer. It was only a matter of time until we were discovered.
    Rachel had been texting me non-stop, urging me to come home. She worried