Hogfather

I should open it,” he said, “after coming all this way…”
    “You’re controlling children by their teeth,” said Susan.
    “It does sound odd, doesn’t it, when you put it like that,” said Teatime. “But that’s sympathetic magic for you. Is your grandfather going to try to rescue you, do you think? But no…I don’t think he can. Not here, I think. I don’t think that he can come here. So he sent you, did he?”
    “Certainly not! He—” Susan stopped. Oh, he had , she told herself, feeling even more of a fool. He certainly had. He was learning about humans, all right. For a walking skeleton, he could be quite clever…
    But…how clever was Teatime? Just a bit too excited at his cleverness to realize that if Death—She tried to stamp on the thought, just in case Teatime could read it in her eyes.
    “I don’t think he’ll try,” she said. “He’s not as clever as you, Mister Teatime.”
    “Teh-ah-tim-eh,” said Teatime, automatically. “That’s a shame.”
    “Do you think you’re going to get away with this?”
    “Oh dear. Do people really say that?” And suddenly Teatime was much closer. “I’ve got away with it. No more Hogfather. And that’s only the start. We’ll keep the teeth coming in, of course. The possibilities—”
    There was a rumble like an avalanche, a long way off. The dormant Banjo had awakened, causing tremors on his lower slopes. His enormous hands, which had been resting on his knees, started to bunch.
    “What’s dis?” he said.
    Teatime stopped and, for a moment, looked puzzled.
    “What’s this what?”
    “You said no more Hogfather,” said Banjo. He stood up, like a mountain range rising gently in the squeeze between colliding continents. His hands still stayed in the vicinity of his knees.
    Teatime stared at him and then glanced at Medium Dave.
    “He does know what we’ve been doing, does he?” he said. “You did tell him?”
    Medium Dave shrugged.
    “Dere’s got to be a Hogfather,” said Banjo. “Dere’s always a Hogfather.”
    Susan looked down. Gray blotches were speeding across the white marble. She was standing in a pool of gray. So was Banjo. And around Teatime the dots bounced and recoiled like wasps around a pot of jam.
    Looking for something, she thought.
    “You don’t believe in the Hogfather, do you?” said Teatime. “A big boy like you?”
    “Yeah,” said Banjo. “So what’s dis ‘no more Hogfather’?”
    Teatime pointed at Susan.
    “ She did it,” he said. “She killed him.”
    The sheer playground effrontery of it shocked Susan.
    “No I didn’t,” she said. “He—”
    “Did!”
    “Didn’t!”
    “Did!”
    Banjo’s big bald head turned toward her.
    “What’s dis about the Hogfather?” he said.
    “I don’t think he’s dead,” said Susan. “But Teatime has made him very ill—”
    “Who cares?” said Teatime, dancing away. “When this is over, Banjo, you’ll have as many presents as you want. Trust me!”
    “Dere’s got to be a Hogfather,” Banjo rumbled. “Else dere’s no Hogswatch.”
    “It’s just another solar festival,” said Teatime. “It—”
    Medium Dave stood up. He had his hand on his sword.
    “We’re going, Teatime,” he said. “Me and Banjo are going. I don’t like any of this. I don’t mind robbing, I don’t mind thieving, but this isn’t honest . Banjo? You come with me right now!”
    “What’s dis about no more Hogfather?” said Banjo.
    Teatime pointed to Susan.
    “You grab her, Banjo. It’s all her fault!”
    Banjo lumbered a few steps in Susan’s direction, and then stopped.
    “Our mam said no hittin’ girls,” he rumbled. “No pullin’ dere hair…”
    Teatime rolled his one good eye. Around his feet the grayness seemed to be boiling in the stone, following his feet as they moved. And it was around Banjo, too.
    Searching, Susan thought. It’s looking for a way in.
    “I think I know you, Teatime,” she said, as sweetly as she could for Banjo’s sake. “You’re the mad kid they’re all scared of, right?”
    “Banjo?” snapped Teatime. “I said grab her—”
    “Our mam said—”
    “The giggling excitable one even the bullies never touched because if they did he went insane and kicked and bit,” said Susan. “The kid who didn’t know the difference between chucking a stone at a cat and setting it on fire.”
    To her delight he glared at her.
    “Shut up,” he said.
    “I bet no one wanted to play with you,” said Susan. “Not the kid