Hogfather

or, and this was a developing option, to tread on it.
    “…and the teeth…they remember…”
    It started to shake.
    “The money?” Susan prompted. “I don’t see many rich bogeymen around.”
    “…money everywhere…buried in holes…old treasure…back of sofas…it adds up…investments…money for the tooth, very important, part of the magic, makes it safe, makes it proper, otherwise it’s thieving …and I labeled ’em all, and kept ’em safe, and…and then I was old, but I found people…” The Tooth Fairy sniggered, and for a moment Susan felt sorry for the men in the ancient caves. “They don’t ask questions, do they?” it bubbled. “…You give ’em money and they all do their jobs and they don’t ask questions…”
    “It’s more than their job’s worth,” said Susan.
    “…and then they came…stealing…”
    Susan gave in. Old gods do new jobs.
    “You look terrible.”
    “…thank you very much…”
    “I mean ill.”
    “…very old…all those men, too much effort…”
    The bogeyman groaned.
    “…you…don’t die here,” it panted. “Just get old, listening to the laughter…”
    Susan nodded. It was in the air. She couldn’t hear words, just a distant chatter, as if it was at the other end of a long corridor.
    “…and this place…it grew up round me…”
    “The trees,” said Susan. “And the sky. Out of their heads…”
    “…dying…the little children…you’ve got to…”
    The figure faded.
    Susan sat for a while, listening to the distant chatter.
    Worlds of belief, she thought. Just like oysters. A little piece of shit gets in and then a pearl grows up around it.
    She got up and went downstairs.
    Banjo had found a broom and mop somewhere. The circle was empty and, with surprising initiative, the man was carefully washing the chalk away.
    “Banjo?”
    “Yes, miss.”
    “You like it here?”
    “There’s trees, miss.”
    That probably counts as a “yes,” Susan decided.
    “The sky doesn’t worry you?”
    He looked at her in puzzlement.
    “No, miss?”
    “Can you count, Banjo?”
    He looked smug.
    “Yes, miss. On m’fingers, miss.”
    “So you can count up to…?” Susan prompted.
    “Thirteen, miss,” said Banjo proudly.
    She looked at his big hands.
    “Good grief.”
    Well, she thought, and why not? He’s big and trustworthy and what other kind of life has he got?
    “I think it would be a good idea if you did the Tooth Fairy’s job, Banjo.”
    “Will that be all right, miss? Won’t the Tooth Fairy mind?”
    “You…do it until she comes back.”
    “All right, miss.”
    “I’ll…er…get people to keep an eye on you, until you get settled in. I think food comes in on the cart. You’re not to let people cheat you.” She looked at his hands and then up and up the lower slopes until she saw the peak of Mount Banjo, and added, “Not that I think they’ll try, mind you.”
    “Yes, miss. I will keep things tidy, miss. Er…”
    The big pink face looked at her.
    “Yes, Banjo?”
    “Can I have a puppy, miss? I had a kitten once, miss, but our mam drowned it ’cos it was dirty.”
    Susan’s memory threw up a name.
    “A puppy called Spot?”
    “Yes, miss. Spot, miss.”
    “I think it’ll turn up quite soon, Banjo.”
    He seemed to take this entirely on trust.
    “Thank you, miss.”
    “And now I’ve got to go.”
    “Right, miss.”
    She looked back up the tower. Death’s land might be dark, but when you were there you never thought anything bad was going to happen to you. You were beyond the places where it could. But here—
    When you were grown up you only feared, well, logical things. Poverty. Illness. Being found out. At least you weren’t mad with terror because of something under the stairs. The world wasn’t full of arbitrary light and shade. The wonderful world of childhood? Well, it wasn’t a cutdown version of the adult one, that was certain. It was more like the adult one written in big heavy letters. Everything was… more . More everything .
    She left Banjo to his sweeping and stepped out into the perpetually sunlit world.
    Bilious and Violet hurried toward her. Bilious was waving a branch like a club.
    “You don’t need that,” said Susan. She wanted some sleep.
    “We talked about it and we thought we ought to come back and help,” said Bilious.
    “Ah. Democratic courage,” said Susan. “Well, they’re all gone. To wherever they go.”
    Bilious lowered the branch thankfully.
    “It wasn’t