Hounded

there’s that saying about laughter being the best medicine. Whoever said that didn’t have blood in their left lung, though, I feel certain.
    Dr. Snorri Jodursson got his first look at me while I was in the midst of another hacking fit. He appeared to be in his forties, though of course he was older than that, like all the members of the Tempe Pack. He was dressed in blue scrubs, which drew attention to the startling blue ice of his eyes and the blond eyebrows furrowed above them. His sharp nose and chiseled jaw made him look like a thunder god, though considering his pack’s antipathy for Thor, that wasn’t a compliment I would think of paying him aloud. He had his blond hair cropped fairly close along the sides, but it was tousled and teased on the top after the fashion of frat-boy douche bags—and I wasn’t going to tell him that either.
    » Atticus, I’ve seen you looking better, « he said, as he kept pace with the gurney being wheeled into pre-op by a couple of nurses. » Tell me what you can when you feel up to it. «
    » Am I able to talk freely? « I asked, tilting my eyes toward the nurses rolling my gurney.
    » Oh yes, they’re part of my team, « Jodursson said.
    » You can count on their discretion as long as you pay for it. «
    » All right, I need blood removed from my left lung, then, « I said, » and use a local anesthetic. I can’t afford to go under. «
    » If that’s all you need, we don’t need to cut you open at all. We’ll insert a tube down your throat, charge the liquid, and then use magnets to draw it up out of there. We do it for pneumonia patients all the time. You’ll still need a local, because it tends to hurt like hell, but you’ll remain conscious. Good enough? «
    » Perfect. Treat this whole thing as outpatient, because I need you to let me go right afterward, and you should bill full costs to Magnusson and Hauk, no insurance. Include in your records whatever tests and exams you’d do for a normal human. You know the drill, I’m sure. Make sure you mention the bullet hole and what a good job you did patching it up, because this is going to get looked at by the cops. No way around it. «
    » Am I removing a bullet? «
    » No, it passed through me, and they’re digging it out of my shop somewhere. «
    » So you’re sure it traveled cleanly between your ribs? I don’t have to worry about any bone chips floating around? «
    » As certain as I can be. I’m just half drowned. « We entered an elevator and paused until the doors closed.
    » Would you mind if I did a chest X-ray to be sure? The cops are going to want to see one anyway. Kind of a standard procedure. «
    » Well, I’ve already plugged up the holes in my lung and the entry and exit wounds too, so it’s going to look a bit odd. «
    Jodursson scowled for the first time. Until then, he’d been conversing with half a grin on his face. » That was probably more efficient than you should have been. «
    » Well, you’re going to charge me thousands for chest bandages I’ll never use, so I figure we’re even. You and your team will just have to lie convincingly on the stand when you get called up. « The elevator bell dinged and the doors opened, and the nurses rolled me into a busy hallway lined with surgical bays.
    » You’re going to sue the cops, then? « Jodursson asked.
    » Sure, why not? Somebody has to pay for all this, and I’d rather it not be me. «
    » You’ve got a solid case? «
    » As solid as Hal can make it. Five cops saw the other cop shoot me when I was standing dead still with my hands up, offering no resistance. Got it on security cam too. You write up a good story about your medical wizardry, and it’s guaranteed. «
    » Excellent. I’ll be sure to pad the bill. «
    » You’re the reason we need health care reform, you know. «
    Jodursson’s grin returned. » There’s also going to be the matter of my team’s hush money. «
    » Sure, no problem. This one’s going to get a lot of attention, because the press can’t leave something like this alone. Just let Hal know how much, and I’ll make sure he gets it to you. «
    » Do we have to rush this? «
    » The faster the better. You’re going to have the police and press here sooner rather than later, and I’d prefer to disappear if I can before they get here. «
    And so Dr. Snorri Jodursson had me out of there by the time night fell, scooting out a side door in a wheelchair and conveniently missing all the people waiting for