Hounded

began to draw power from the earth. Between bloody coughs, I spoke quietly so that only Hal would be able to hear me as I began closing my wounds.
    » I need the sword. It’s invisible, but you can feel it on the shelf. Bring it to me. And get someone over here to clean up all of my blood, completely sanitize the place, every drop. Including your clothes. «
    Hal looked down and saw my blood all over him. » This is a three-thousand-dollar suit. «
    » I’m good for it. Gotta get the door fixed too. And Oberon will need looking after. «
    » Ah, I thought I smelled him, « Hal said.
    I nodded. » He’s in the shop. Camouflaged like the sword. I’ll tell him to jump in your Beemer. «
    » Okay, I’ll go open the door and leave it open. But tell him to be careful on the leather seats. «
    » Sybarite, « I said.
    » Ascetic, « he retorted, and he got up to go open his car door.
    I heard sirens wailing in an urban imitation of the bean sidhe , and as I poured everything I could into accelerating my healing, I reached out to Oberon.
    Okay, Oberon, I’m healing up fine, but they’re going to come take me to the hospital for a while and I need you to go with Hal for now. I should be back tomorrow .
    › Why do you need to go at all? ‹
    There’s some fluid in my lungs and I can’t get that out without some help. Hal has opened the door of his car for you. Try to get out of the store as quietly as you can and watch out for blood on the ground, because your paw prints will give you away. There’s a dead body right outside the door, so be careful .
    › There are a lot of people milling around by the door. ‹
    There’s going to be more of them soon. The longer you wait, the more there will be. I’m outside on the ground to the right .
    › Wait. ‹
    What’s wrong?
    › Is that tiny little toy car Hal’s? ‹
    It’s a very expensive toy. You’re supposed to be careful with the leather seats .
    › So I’m supposed to ninja past these cops, tread across the broken glass—you remember the broken glass, right?—avoid the buckets o’ blood outside the door, and jump silently into that puny car without saying hello to the upholstery? ‹
    An excellent summation. Make it quick .
    › Not so fast. Promise you’ll get me a date with a French poodle? ‹
    Seriously? You’re holding out on me right now? I’ve been shot and I’m coughing up blood and you’re negotiating for some tail?
    › Oh, all right. But I totally deserve one and you know it. I’ve been a good widdle doggie. ‹
    It was at this moment that Perry, who had slunk out of the shop more than an hour ago under the glowing red eyes of the Morrigan, chose to return from lunch.
    » Holy shit, boss! « he said. » Did that big fucking bird do all of this? «

Chapter 17
    I beckoned Perry over. » I’ll explain what happened later, « I said as he squatted next to me in the grass. » The bird was just the beginning. But listen— « I paused to cough up some more blood.
    » Damn, Atticus, I knew that bird was bad news. I’m sorry, man, I should have stayed to help you out. «
    » Don’t worry about it. You can help me now. You’re on the clock until you get a glass contractor out here to fix up the door. Once that’s done, lock up and head home. Open up tomorrow for me and make a cup of Humili-Tea—there’s some sachets already made—you know the one I’m talking about, the one that sorority girls ask for when they want to end a relationship? « Perry nodded and grinned wryly. » Good. Make it for a customer named Emily. Don’t tell her anything about what you saw here or where I’m at or anything, is that clear? If she asks you what the weather’s like outside, you shrug your shoulders and say you don’t know, all right? «
    » Got it, boss. «
    » That goes for everybody who asks anything. Tell them I’ll be back in a few days. If you don’t know how to make a certain kind of tea for someone, then don’t even try. Just apologize and tell them I’ll be back soon. «
    » Is that true? «
    I tried to laugh but coughed instead. » What, that I’ll be back? I certainly hope so. «
    » You’re not going to be in the hospital for weeks? Because that looks like a bullet hole in your shirt. «
    » As the Black Knight famously said, that’s just a flesh wound. «
    » The Black Knight always triumphs! « Perry beamed. Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of