If I Tell

developed an intense interest in her well-being, and Nathan because his stepfather used him as a punching bag.
    Nathan discovered that his thrill for heights could make him serious money in the construction business and had found a house he could afford to live in. Lacey followed, and he let her pay a third of the rent instead of half.
    “Your hands feel like sandpaper,” I said, thankful for the interruption. “And how could I mistake that voice? Anyhow, I’m smarter than I look.”
    “You look smart enough to run away with me.” He grinned. “Nothing stopping you.”
    “Except about four years.” Lacey leaned across the table to smack his head. “She’s jailbait. Leave her alone.”
    “Jaz is wise beyond her years,” Nathan said, running a hand across his shaved head.
    “Too wise to fall for your crap,” Lacey said.
    I ignored the insults flying back and forth and sneaked a peek behind the coffee counter. In the Pit, Jackson was whipping up a special coffee for a regular customer. He smiled a half grin and tugged at his earring. He truly rocked the apron with a complete lack of effort. I lifted my fingers to wave at him and then blushed harder.
    He wasn’t even looking at me. He was beaming at a skinny blond girl approaching the counter. I tucked my hand in my lap and dropped my glance to the table. What did I expect? He’d wave and then leap across the counter and ask me out?
    So what if he was nice to me? So what if my insides fluttered when he flirted with me? Which he did on a regular basis. Was I actually crushing on him? As far as I could tell Jackson flirted with every girl who came within ten feet of him. I thought about Grandpa. He would definitely not have approved of a drug dealer. But then I remembered my vow not to listen to the rumors about Jackson and frowned.
    “I want to go to a party,” I announced, interrupting Lacey and Nathan, who thankfully had been too busy arguing to see my lame wave at a boy not even looking at me. “Who will buy me some beer?”
    They both stopped talking and stared at me as if I’d suddenly sprouted fairy wings.
    “What? It’s not like I’ve never been to a party before,” I said. The anger in the pit of my stomach wouldn’t go away. I intended to drown it.
    “No,” Lacey said. “But you’ve never demanded to go to one in that voice before. You sound totally grouchy.”
    “And you’re not usually the beer type, kid,” Nathan added.
    “More like Dr Pepper,” Lacey said.
    “Well, things change,” I said. “I’m bored. Bored with coffee. Bored with school. Bored with everything.”
    I didn’t add that I was bored with Grandma’s nonstop chatter about the new baby. Bored with Lacey talking about herself. Bored with Ashley training for swim meets with no time for me outside school.
    Lacey’s eyebrows arched. “You sure everything’s okay?”
    “Fine. I just want to have some fun for once. Is that so wrong?”
    “Can’t blame a girl for wanting to have fun,” Nathan said.
    Lacey twirled hair around her finger. “That was your mom on the phone earlier? How’s she doing? With Simon and the baby and stuff.”
    “Who cares?” I didn’t meet her eyes. I didn’t want to talk about them. Especially not with her.
    Nathan grinned. “Marnie’s having a bash tonight. We can go there to party.”
    I pushed back on my chair and jumped to my feet. “Good. Will you buy me some beer?” I pulled a crumpled twenty from the front pocket of my jeans.
    Nathan grabbed the money. “I’ll buy two cases if that’s what you want.” He untangled himself from his chair and slung an arm across my shoulder.
    “Nathan, she’s just a kid,” Lacey said.
    “Thanks, Nathan.” I didn’t squirm away from him like I normally did. I glared at Lacey. “I already have a mother, you know. In fact, I have two.”
    “I’m just sayin’.” Lacey held up her hands. “Whatever. It’s your hangover.”
    “Like you said, she’s young. Hangovers don’t last. Come on.” Nathan led me toward the exit.
    I glanced back at Jackson. The blond he’d been smiling at had vanished, but he was talking to someone else. I put a little wiggle in my walk. As if I knew what sexy even looked like.
    ***
    “Whoa. Slow down a little.” Lacey chugged the remains of a beer and squished up beside me on an old brown corduroy couch in Marnie’s living room. I leaned over to the cooler in front of us and grabbed another bottle, twisting off the cap and pitching it on the