Life and Death are Wearing Me Out

my right arm.” He turned and nodded to the two elderly couples. Finally, he said to your wife, “I’d like to drink to my sister-in-law. At noon the other day, when I gave a celebratory banquet for the passage of our reconstruction plans, Jiefang was the one who suffered. That old scalawag Hong Taiyue may be stubborn, but you have to love him, and I hope a little jail time will teach him a lesson.”
    At supper that afternoon your wife maintained the proper attitude — not too cold and not too hot — of a deputy county chiefs wife. As enthusiastic host, Jinlong made it clear who was the head of this family. But Ximen Huan was the liveliest person at the table, and the way he dealt with banquet etiquette showed what a sharp-witted boy he was. Since disciplining his son was not a concern of Jinlong’s, Ximen Huan remained out of control. He poured himself a glass of the liquor and then another for Kaifang. “Here, Cousin Kaifang,” he said with a stiff tongue, “drink this. I want to talk to you about something—”
    Your son looked over at your wife.
    “Don’t look at her — we boys make up our own minds at times like this. Here, to you, a toast!”
    “That’s enough, Huanhuan,” Huzhu said.
    “Go ahead and touch it with your lips,” your wife said to your son.
    So the two boys clinked glasses. Huanhuan tipped his head back and drained his glass, then held the empty glass out to Kaifang, and said:
    “Drink out of. . . out of respect.”
    So Kaifang touched his lips to the liquor and set down his glass.
    “You . . . that’s not how a pal does things—”
    “That’s enough,” Jinlong announced as he tapped his son on the head. “Stop there. Don’t try to force people to do something they don’t want to do. Trying to get somebody to drink doesn’t make you a man!”
    “Okay, Papa . . . I’ll do as you say.” Huanhuan set down his glass, took off his wristwatch, and set it down in front of Kaifang. “This is Swiss-made, a Longines,” he said. “I swapped my slingshot to a Korean businessman for it, now I’d like to trade it for that dog of yours.”
    “No way!” your son said staunchly.
    Huanhuan was unhappy, of course, but he didn’t make a scene.
    “I’m willing to bet,” he said just as staunchly, “that you’ll make the trade one day.”
    “No more of that, son,” Huzhu said. “You’ll be going to town in a few months to start middle school, and you can see the dog when you visit your aunt.”
    And so the topic of conversation around the table turned to me. “I find it hard to believe,” your mother said, “that a litter of puppies could all be so different.”
    “My son and I are lucky to have this dog,” your wife said. “His dad is wrapped up in his work day and night, and I have my job, so it’s up to the dog to watch the house. He also takes Kaifang to school and picks him up in the afternoon.”
    “He really is an awesome animal,” Jinlong said as he picked up a braised pig’s foot and threw it to me. “Dog Four,” he said, “don’t be a stranger just because you’re part of a well-to-do family.”
    The smell of that pig’s foot was enticing, and I heard my stomach rumble. But then I looked over at my brother dogs and let it lie there.
    “They really are different,” Jinlong said emotionally. “Huan-huan, you can learn some things from that dog.” He picked up two more pig’s feet with his chopsticks and tossed them to Dog One and Dog Two. “To be a real man you have to behave like a great one.”
    My brothers tore into the meat they’d been given, gobbling it up so fast their throats made funny sounds. But I let mine lie there as I fixed my eyes on your wife. When she gestured it was all right to eat, I took a tentative bite and chewed it, slowly and noiselessly. Someone had to preserve a dog’s dignity.
    “You’re right, Papa,” Huanhuan said as he retrieved his wrist-watch. “I want to act like someone from a great family.” He got up and went into his room. He came out again with a hunting rifle.
    “Huanhuan,” Huzhu shouted in alarm, “what are you doing?” She stood up.
    Ximen Jinlong just sat there unflappably, a smile on his face. “I’d like to see what my son’s made of. Is he going to shoot his uncle’s dog? That’s no way to be a virtuous man. Or will he shoot our and his aunt’s dogs? That’d be even worse!”
    “You underestimate me, Papa,” Huanhuan said angrily. He shouldered the rifle, and though he could