Light in the Shadows

and gloom but I couldn’t shake it.
                    The afternoon disappeared as twilight took over and with it the cooling of the air but we were still in no hurry to get dressed.  Clay rolled over and pulled a small package out of his bag and handed it to me.
                    “Happy Birthday, Maggie,” he said, smiling.  I picked up the small box and quirked my eyebrow.
                    “Why do you always feel the need to give me presents after we’ve had sex?  I’m sensing a pattern here,” I joked, referring to the butterfly necklace that still hung around my neck.  Clay chuckled and traced a finger along the delicate curves of silver that made up the jewelry he had given me. 
                    “Less smart ass and more opening,” he prompted, picking up the box and wiggling it in front of me.  I snatched it from his hand and ripped open the paper.  My heart sputtered and nearly stopped when I saw the small, black velvet box hidden beneath the birthday wrapping. 
                    He wouldn’t would he?
                    “Stop freaking out and just open it,” Clay teased, seeing the way my eyes had widened and my hands had stilled.  I did as he said and slowly opened the hinged top. 
                    Nestled inside was a ring.  Not that kind of ring but a beautiful one nonetheless.  It was a thin band of white gold meeting in the middle in a loop.  On the sides were tiny, diamond inlaid butterflies.  They were so small you had to look closely to make them out.  Dear lord, my boyfriend’s taste in jewelry was incredible.
                  I removed the ring from the box and held it in my palm, too awestruck by its beauty to put it on.   Clay took the piece of jewelry and grabbed my right hand, slipping it onto the ring finger.  It fit perfectly.  Of course it did.  Had I expected anything less?
                    “It’s gorgeous, Clay.  Thank you,” I said, feeling another crying jag come on.  Clay threaded his fingers through mine and held the hand adorned with the ring up for us both to see. 
                    “It’s a promise ring.  A long time ago, they would be engraved with the words Pour route ma vie, de tout mon coeur, For my whole life, all of my love.  I wanted to give you something that showed my complete and total devotion to you, to us.  I have turned your world upside down.  First when I tried to kill myself and left you to deal with the aftermath.  Then again when I came back and you’ve been trying to handle my constantly changing life.  I know I haven’t been easy. I wish I could say that one day things might be simpler.  But the truth is I can’t say that.  I wish I could.  I can only say, with one hundred percent certainty that I love you.  That I live and breathe for you.  That I would lay down my life a million times over for you.  And no matter what happens tomorrow, next week, next year, my heart will always be yours.”  Oh yeah, I was definitely crying now.  How could a girl hear that stuff and not start sobbing her eyes out?  I wasn’t made of stone, for Pete’s sake! 
                    Clay touched his finger to the ring that symbolized his commitment to me.  “And as long as we’re together, I think we can get through anything.  I promise to never shut you out of my life again.  I was miserable the three months we were apart.  I thought I was doing it for you, but call me selfish, but I can’t do that again.  No matter where I go, or what I do, I want you in my life,” he concluded, his face soft, his eyes full of love.
                    Shit, I was done.  I gave a strangled sort of sob and threw myself at him, kissing every inch of his beloved face.  “I love you, Clay!  My god, I love you so much!” I said over and over again.  We probably would have gotten lost in each other again, if his phone didn’t start beeping. 
                    He gave me an apologetic smile and grabbed it and let out an “oh fuck.” 
                    “What is it?” I asked as he got hurriedly to his feet and started pulling on his clothes. 
    “Baby, you need to get dressed.  We’re going to be late if we don’t get a move on.  And your parents have only recently stopped looking at me as though I’m going to abscond with you in the