Losing Hope

“She’s beautiful, Holder.”
    I shrug. “Yeah, she’s okay.”
    Sky laughs and hits me on the arm. “Remember? The insults are only funny in text form.”
    I grab her and pull her to me. “You’re not beautiful, Sky,” I whisper in her ear. “You’re incredible.”
    She wraps her arms around me in return. “You’re not so bad, yourself,” she says.
    My mother takes her by the hand and pulls her away from me and into the living room, then she begins to bombard her with questions. I appreciate it, though, because she doesn’t ask her questions about her situation or her past. She just asks normal questions about what she wants to major in when she goes to college and where she’s planning to go to college. I leave them both in the living room to continue their conversation while I walk to the garage and grab a few boxes. Mom and I have talked about clearing out Les’s room before. Now that I have Sky here, I think I’ll actually be able to do it.
    I walk back to the living room and hand them each a box. “Come on,” I say, heading toward the stairs. “We’ve got a room to clean.”
    We spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning out Les’s room. We box her pictures and anything that meant something to her in one box, then we put all her clothes in boxes to take to Goodwill. I take both notebooks and I wrap them in the pair of jeans that have been on the floor for over a year and I place it all in a box. A box I keep.
    After the room is finished, my mother and Sky head downstairs. I stack the boxes in the hallway, then turn to shut the door. Before I close it completely, I look to her bed. I don’t watch her die again. I watch her smile.

Chapter Forty-nine-and-three-quarters
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    “I thought she said she wasn’t going this weekend,” I say to Sky as we walk through her front door.
    “I begged her to go. She’s been stuck to me like glue for days now and I told her if she didn’t go do her flea market thing, I’d run away.”
    We make our way to Sky’s bedroom and I close the door behind us. “So does that mean I can get you pregnant tonight?”
    She turns around and faces me, then shrugs. “I guess we could practice,” she says, smiling.
    And we do. We practice at least three different times before midnight.
    • • •
    We’re lying on her bed, tangled together beneath her sheet. She’s holding up our hands, which are clasped between us, and she’s staring at them. “I remember, you know,” she says softly.
    I tilt my head until it meets hers on the pillow. “You remember what?”
    She pulls her fingers away, then she wraps her pinky around mine. “This,” she whispers. “I remember the first time you held my hand like this. And I remember everything you said to me that night.”
    I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath.
    “Not long after Karen brought me here, she asked me to forget my old name and all the bad that went along with it. So I thought about you . . . and I told her I wanted to be called Sky.”
    She lifts up onto her elbow and looks down at me. “You were always there, you know. Even when I couldn’t remember . . . you were always there.”
    I push her hair behind her ear and kiss her, then pull back. “I love you so much, Sky.”
    “I love you, too, Holder.”
    I pull my arm out from under her and roll her onto her back, looking down at her. “Will you do me a favor?”
    She nods.
    “From now on, I want you to call me Dean.”

Final Chapter
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    Les,
    It’s been a while. I came across these letters today after needing boxes to pack for college. I also came across the pair of jeans that sat in your bedroom floor for over a year. I just threw them in the hamper for you. You’re welcome.
    So . . . yeah. College. Me. Me going to college. Pretty cool, huh?
    It’s still about a month away before I go, but Sky has already been there for a couple of months. She had all her credits from being homeschooled, so right after high school graduation she left to get a head start on me.
    She’s so competitive.
    But I’m not worried, because I plan on surpassing her once I get there. I have this elaborate evil plan all mapped out. Every time I catch her studying or doing homework, I’ll just whisper something sexy in her ear or flash my dimples. Then she’ll get all flustered and sidetracked and she’ll fall behind on her schoolwork and she’ll fail her classes and I’ll get my degree first and victory will be mine!
    Or I’ll just let her win. I