Lost in You

permission to attend the concert, but this other crap you pulled doesn’t fly. You’re grounded for a week. The list of chores is on the counter.”
    I knew I’d have some sort of punishment when I got home, but I wasn’t expecting this. I nod as I walk into the house and head straight for the bathroom. I take my allotted five minutes and wish they weren’t home so maybe I could sneak another three minutes. In and out as fast as I can and into my room before my dad comes down the hall. I slip into clean boxers, shorts and a t-shirt and lie down. I know I have chores to do, but I need a moment to figure out what I’m going to do tonight.

CHAPTER 10
    Hadley
     
     
    “Stop pacing.”
    I turn and glare at Alex. I can’t stop. I’m anxious and nervous. More nervous than the first time I went out on stage at twelve. Performing is second nature, almost like sleeping. But this… this decision has so many ramifications – not only for me, but for Ryan – and I can’t help but feel my heart in my throat right now.
    When he texted and told me he was grounded I wanted to cry. I did cry. I also screamed into my pillow and kicked my feet. Only when he texted back saying he’d do something he had never done before did I start to smile.
    And now I’m pacing. My hands are red from the constant pulling that I’m doing on them. I should sit, but I’m afraid I’ll wrinkle my dress. All I want is to see him again.
    “You really like him, don’t you?” Alex asks as she places her hands on my shoulders in an effort to calm me down. I look at Alex and admire how beautiful she is. Tonight she’s wearing a light brown mermaid-style dress with a chocolate brown bodice. The contrast with her skin tone is perfect. Her long, dark hair is swept up into a French twist with just minimal make-up highlighting her eyes. I’m in awe of how natural she looks tonight.
    “I do. I can’t explain it, Alex. It’s almost like the sun is shining on me for the first time. Looking at him from across the room the other night was one thing, but talking to him or when we touched for the first time, it’s like I burst into flames.”
    “Are you going to ask him to finish the tour with you?” she asks this jokingly. My face deadpans and hers morphs into nothing less than horror. “What is it?”
    I shake my head. “I’m in so much trouble.”
    “Why? Did you have unprotected sex?”
    “No, nothing like that, although with what I’m feeling right now I probably wouldn’t have told him no. But we can’t do anything like that, at all.”
    “Does he have a girlfriend or a wife?”
    I look at Alex with tears forming in my eyes. She dabs them gently before they spill over and ruin my make-up. “He’s only seventeen, Alex.”
    Alex doesn’t need to tell me what she’s thinking. I can see it on her face. I imagine that is what my face looked like when Ryan told me, but everything told me to forget that he’s not yet of age and still be a part of his life. I can wait. I can be patient.
    “Hadley –”
    “I know, Alex,” I interrupt her. “Believe me, I know, but I can’t be away from him. I just can’t. He makes me feel…” I cover my face with my hands and fight the tears. Her arms wrap around me. She’s soothing me even though she knows I’m making a huge mistake.
    “This can become dangerous, sweetie. You’re an adult and should know better, but I understand the feelings, sometimes they’re so strong you just can’t ignore them,” she whispers into my ear.
    I nod because she’s right. If I ignore them not only am I denying myself happiness, but I’ll be hurt and sad and can see myself withdrawing from my life. “I have to have him in my life,” I mumble from behind my hands.
    “How far did you guys go last night?” she asks as she steps around me, pulling my hands away from my face.
    If it was anyone but Alex asking, I’d punch them. I know she’s asking because she’s my best friend and that’s what best friends do.
    “Nothing at first, just holding hands and I fell asleep on him. I couldn’t help it. But in the morning, he kissed me and I wanted it so bad. I didn’t stop him, I couldn’t.” I want to look away from her, but don’t want her to think I’m ashamed of what happened with Ryan, because I’m not. If I had to do it all over again, I would. I wouldn’t hesitate.
    “You need to be careful, Hadley. I’m not going to give you a tongue lashing because you’ll end up getting that from