Lost in You

crazy.
    “Where were you going?”
    I look down at the table and count the specs of red mixed in and wonder if that’s blood. I should’ve asked Dylan a long time ago if her dad was a violent man.
    “Who’s the girl?”
    No answer.
    He leans forward, pulling my chin up so that I’m looking him in the eye. I try to move away, but he’s pinching me, holding me in place.
    “I suggest you answer, boy, because in case you’ve forgotten, you live under my roof.”
    “I haven’t forgotten,” I mumble. He releases my chin. I try to rub it on my shoulder to relieve the pressure, but it doesn’t do enough to ease the ache. I’m sure I’ll have a bruise there now, too. I wonder what my mom will say when she sees me. Probably nothing, I’m sure. She’ll sit on the floor and pray, asking God to forgive her son and all his sins. She’ll shut down, stare out the window and act like I don’t exist.
    “Where were you going?”
    “Nowhere.”
    He slams his hand down on the table. I hope he broke it.
    “Answer me.”
    “I did.”
    He rubs his face and sighs, though he hasn’t ever cared before. He makes things this complicated, it’s not like he’s ever sat down and asked me how I’m doing or paid a bit of attention to me. I’ve just been another mouth to feed and someone he’s had to put second-hand clothes on.
    “I’ll ask you again. Who’s the girl?”
    I shake my head. That’s one question I’m not willing to answer. If he wants to beat me, so be it, but he’s not getting any information about Hadley.
    “You’re not going to tell me? You don’t think I already know about you and her. You don’t think I know that you’ve been sneaking out of your room at night since September, that you’ve spent the night with that whore?”
    I look up when he calls her a whore; she’s anything but. “Go to hell. You don’t know shit about our relationship,” I say through gritted teeth.
    He stands, his chair colliding with the wall. He leans over the table, his hands flat, arms spread out wide. He’s intending to scare me and I’m sure he would be if I weren’t so pissed off.
    “You’re seventeen years old. She’s an adult. She’s a pedophile. She’s the type your mother and I have been protecting you from. Any adult who takes advantage of a young, innocent boy deserves to rot in the fires of hell.”
    I bite my lip to keep from screaming out, but I can’t hold back. “You’re wrong. You’re so wrong. You don’t know shit about her I. She didn’t take advantage of me. She fought me every time I tried something with her. I want to be with her and she wants to be with me and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re so screwed up in your own world that you have no idea what life is like for me. I hate you. I hate that I’m seventeen years old and the first girl to show me any attention, the first one to see ME, you try to do all you can to ruin it.”
    The door opens and in walks a lady dressed in a suit, carrying a briefcase. My dad eyes her up and down and shakes his head. He’s such a chauvinistic pig. I wonder how I didn’t turn out like him. Moreover, I wonder how my mother can stay married to someone like him.
    “I didn’t hire a lawyer,” my dad spews.
    “No one said you did, Mr. Stone. I’m here on behalf of Miss Carter. She’s retained me to represent Ryan.”
    “No, your services aren’t needed. You can leave.”
    “Very well.” Only she doesn’t leave. She sets down her briefcase on the table and looks at me. “Ryan, I need you to tell me to go. You’re old enough to consent to have a lawyer present and Miss Carter has asked that I assist you in any way needed. The choice is yours.”
    I look from her to my dad. His face is red. His hands are clenched at his sides. I know that if I ask this lady to stay, things at home aren’t going to be good. I should probably start fearing for my life once I walk out of these doors, but I also know Officer Daniels can press charges against me and I’ll need help with that.
    Either way, I’m screwed. One thing I do know is that I want out of these handcuffs and I think this lady is my ticket.
    “Ryan, don’t you dare.” My dad knows what I’m about to do and for the life of me I can’t understand why he doesn’t want me to have help. Does he plan for me to sit in jail or do an excessive amount of community service? Why wouldn’t he want me to have a lawyer to help me out of this mess that I’m in? That’s what