Lost in You

pushing her up against the lockers. I place my arms on either side of her and look down. She’s devious. She knows why we’re out here. She reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses me lightly.
    “You’ll have fun, I promise.”
    “You promise me a lot of things, but fun isn’t one of them.”
    “People are excited. This will be good. They want to know you.”
    I can’t deny that it wouldn’t be nice to have some more friends, especially guy friends. It’s always been Dylan and I’m not complaining, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a buddy. I remember what Mr. Ross told me about my feelings. Feelings have words and words need to be expressed and no one can get into trouble for expressing themselves.
    “I need to see my mom after school and then I have to work.”
    “Only until nine, right?”
    She knows my schedule and I like that she does. I nod.
    “That gives me enough time to decorate and wrap your gift.”
    “You didn’t have to get me anything.”
    “I know, you say that every year.” She’s right, I do. When it’s her birthday, I buy her a book or journal, never knowing what to get her. Her gifts are always wonderful because she puts thought into it, which is what I’m learning to do.
    “Can I kiss you?” I ask her. She nods as my lips meet hers. Her fingers thread through my hair, making me hungry for her. I hang onto the top of the lockers afraid to let go for fear she’d disappear. She’s bringing all my emotions to the surface with the way she touches me and the new me really, really likes that.

CHAPTER 36
    Hadley
     
     
    I barely make it off stage before Ian is dragging me down the hallway to my dressing room. He throws open the door and pushes me in. I stagger before catching myself. Alex and Cole are right behind us. Cole shuts the door and locks it.
    “What the fuck was that?” Ian spits out.
    I turn away and try to collect my thoughts. I pick up a rubber band off my vanity and pull my hair back. Ian spins me around to face him. “We had a deal, Hadley.”
    “One bad show isn’t breaking any deals, Ian. I’m allowed to have a bad show.”
    “No, you’re not,” he roars. “Those people don’t wait in line in the freezing cold and spend their hard-earned money so you can have a bad show. They expect nothing but the best when you step out there. We’ve talked about your image, Hadley, and this little stunt will cost you dearly. It won’t matter if you and Cole announce your engagement, the media is going to have a field day once all the blog posts go up.”
    Ian grabs his head as he screams out in frustration. “I don’t get you. I really don’t understand how you can perform night after night and get up on stage now and forget your words. These are songs you know in your sleep. You don’t forget them. When you’re up on that stage, nothing else matters, but you…” He stalks over to me, his finger pointing at my face. His teeth are clenched and his normally coifed hair is standing on end. “You just keep screwing up and expecting me to fix it and I’m sick of it.”
    “Ian, that’s enough.” I expect to hear Alex’s voice, but it’s Cole. He pushes Ian’s finger away from my face and stands in front of me. “She had a bad night; if anyone knew what was going on, they’d forgive her. We should never have come here.”
    Ian rips his hand out of Cole’s and starts pacing. I’m just one giant screw-up after another. It doesn’t matter what I do. Everything ends up in shambles. I lean my forehead on Cole’s back and wrap my arms around his waist. Right now he’s my safety net.
    “You have to make this show up to them.”
    “Why?” Cole asks. “This is her second show here in months. Somehow I’m thinking you planned this because everything has been going so well you needed as excuse to railroad her again. You hate that we aren’t front-page news anymore now that everyone thinks we’re back together, so you’re creating some drama. Jesus, Ian, let her be human for one moment. She made a mistake, let it go. It was a bad night, it’s over, time to move on.”
    “Cole’s right,” Alex adds. “I can’t help but think you set her up for failure with this show. You know what happened here last time.”
    “What do you know, you’re just a clinger.”
    “Excuse me,” I say, coming around Cole. He sets his hand down in front of me, halting my movements. “You can’t talk to Alex like that, she’s my best friend. Aside from Cole,