Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 8

there instead. He'd hoped for more time, for some sleep and the chance to get his head back together, although he wasn't really sure any amount of delay would be enough. So perhaps this was as good a time as any. He seated himself in the recliner. Josh was looking at him, eyes open and tinted blue in the light from the glowing numbers of the digital clock on the DVD player, but he said nothing.
    The silence had stretched for a while before Trey muttered, "I figured you'd be in bed by now."
    "Couldn't sleep. It's pretty late for you to be getting back."
    Trey glanced at his watch, even though he knew perfectly well it was after midnight. "I guess."
    "I was worried. A bit."
    "Sorry." A dozen times he'd pulled his phone out to call Josh or at least text him, and a dozen times he'd stared at the blank screen and put it away.
    Josh shook his head. "You don't really have to check in with me."
    "I was driving around mostly. For hours."
    "Wastes a lot of gas." Josh bit the words off short. Trey could hear the strain in his voice. "Jesus, I don't know what scares me more, still hearing my father's words come out of my own mouth after all these years, or having to call Dad and tell him I'm bi."
    Having to do what? Trey shook his head irritably. "You're not your dad, even if you are a cheap bastard too. And why would you tell him? If the person you eventually fall in love with happens to be a girl you'll never even have to mention it."
    "I didn't fall in love with a girl, though."
    Trey froze. That couldn't mean what it sounded like. It was just stupid unquenchable hope on his part, that bit that had survived his anger and bitterness and frustration and all the hours of driving around convincing himself Josh was still just a friend. The silence dragged out.
    "Trey?" Josh's voice was thin.
    "I'm going to bed," Trey said, standing abruptly. Because he couldn't handle what was coming. He didn't want to hear about Stef or whomever Josh thought he loved. And just as certainly he didn't want to hear Josh suggest they try each other out, for the three days they had left.
    "Wait." Josh's voice held a snap of command, and Trey froze obediently as he had in the past.
    Josh stood slowly and took two steps toward him, close enough that Trey could feel the heat of his body in the chill of the room. He closed his eyes.
    "Trey, I told Felix I was gay."
    "I bet you said bi," Trey snapped without opening his eyes, and then the words sank in. "Shit. You didn't. What did he say? Will he tell your folks?"
    "Okay, yeah, I said bi, but I told him I was involved with a man. And he's okay with it I think."
    Trey felt like he was always a sentence behind in this conversation. "Involved with what man?"
    "I didn't say a name."
    "No, I mean who...?"
    "Jesus, Trey, don't you know? You. I want you. If there's any chance at all."
    Trey just stood there and heard those impossible words echo in his head. For ten years he'd imagined hearing that from Josh, and now he didn't think he believed it. "You never said anything."
    "How could I? Until this afternoon, I figured you would hit the road two minutes after I made a pass at you. If you didn't punch my face in first."
    Okay, maybe that was true, but–"You didn't say it in the loft either."
    "Because you ran away before I got to that part." Josh's voice sharpened. "Dammit, Trey, I barely got through telling you I'd already had a boyfriend and you looked at me like you hated me and ran. When was I supposed to find the right moment to ask you out?"
    "I didn't hate you." That had been pure blinding jealousy. Okay, maybe with some anger because Trey's painful decade-long secret had been dragged out into the light only to find that the drama of the moment had become a farce.
    "Whatever. You glared and you ran. And I've been waiting fucking hours for you to come home."
    "I'm here now." Trey's voice cracked on the last word.
    "Yeah. Look at me though?"
    He forced his eyes open and looked. It was blessedly dim. Josh was just a shadowy bulk, with what light there was behind him. Josh took a half step closer, until they almost touched.
    "Trey, I've missed you so fucking much, for so long. I never said it but... those first months after we moved, I used to cry at night. I pretended I was missing Hannah and home and all. But mainly it was you."
    "I'm sorry." Trey reached out and put a hand on Josh's arm. The heat of solid muscle warmed his palm. "I missed you too." Major understatement. At first his teenage grief and loss