Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 8

since we were both thirteen and I can't just be a quick fuck buddy you'll walk away from three days from now."
    Josh's voice shook when he said, "You love me?"
    "I said I'm in love with you, always have been. That's a different thing. I haven't been around you enough in the last eight years to love you right. It's been years since I really knew you, but I could never let you go."
    "I don't want you to let go."
    Trey turned to look at him then. The hopeful, happy look on Josh's face almost hurt. "What do you think this is, Josh? You live on the east coast, I live on the west. We have three more days here on Aunt Julie's farm and then we're going to be three thousand miles apart. This has to be just a summer fling for you." His voice shook on the last words, because despite himself hope was rising like a tide of warmth in him.
    "I'll move," Josh said quickly. "No, really," he plowed on over Trey's snort of disbelief. "I've realized I hate the east coast anyway. Too busy, too loud, too cold in the winter. This is home."
    "You would move back out here just for me?" The last word was a squeak, and Trey was glad the darkness hid his blush. He sounded like a fucking teenage girl.
    "Sure. Hell, I was, I am going to come out to my parents for you. Moving is nothing. Providing I have you. I don't know what to do to convince you of that."
    Trey knew just how bad an idea it was but he said it anyway. "You could kiss me some more."
    "No." Josh's voice was low but firm. "This time you have to kiss me."
    There were eight feet of space between them. Trey had time to change his mind twice as he slowly crossed the distance. But in the end he stood in front of Josh, his Josh, and took his face between both hands and kissed him. This kiss was hot but not as hungry. They took turns with the play of tongues, with tiny nips to lips and neck before meeting again in the kiss. This time when they broke it, Trey leaned against Josh, his head lowered to the curve of Josh's neck. Josh wrapped strong arms around him and they stood there, rocking together slowly.
    Trey could feel Josh's cock hard against his. He breathed in the scent of Josh's neck, moving his lips gently against smooth skin and up to where he could claim the scrape of stubble across his mouth. Josh made a soft sound and pulled him in closer. "Trey? Can we go upstairs?"
    "Don't get mad."
    "What?" Josh sounded wary.
    Trey thought that question should have been What now? and he wouldn't have blamed Josh. But Trey felt like he was way more invested than Josh, invested in all the years and the hiding and lies to his parents and all the world, just to hold onto some scrap of Josh through all that time. He felt like his whole life was hanging on this, where Josh might be just playing with something new. Although if Josh really was coming out to his family that was probably unfair. Definitely unfair, but still Trey couldn't help how he felt. "I want to hold you and kiss you for as long as I can stand it, but I don't want to sleep with you tonight."
    "Why not?" Josh hesitated and then said, "You don't trust me?"
    "I don't trust myself." Trey didn't feel like he could explain it. He just felt a familiar darkness looming, that companion of all the long years when he wanted Josh with a ferocity that was terrifying, and loathed that wanting with equal intensity. He should have been ecstatic right now. Josh was in his arms, asking to take him to bed. It was the stuff of a thousand fantasies. But Trey felt weak and shaken. If this somehow didn't work, if it didn't last, he wasn't sure he would survive giving up his hopes again. "I need a little time. Not because I don't want you." He took Josh's hand off his ass and pressed it over the hard, erect proof of how much he did want the man. "But I need a little time."
    "Okay." Josh seemed to be working hard to hide his disappointment, but it echoed in his voice.
    Trey grabbed him in a tight hug and laid a bruising kiss on his mouth. "Just a little time, I swear." Another hard kiss. "When we finally fuck," and okay, his voice broke on that one too, dammit. "When I have you in my bed I want it to be right. I want to be able to concentrate on you and not be tired and wrung out and dirty and messed up in my head."
    "I don't mind dirty." Trust Josh to fasten on the least important thing. But at least his voice sounded more indulgent now than hurt.
    Trey pulled him into another kiss. They took their time. Josh was clearly trying to convince Trey, with